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Thread: Twins?

  1. #1
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    5th August 2005 - 18:41
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    Twins?

    A very unattractive, mean actin' woman walks into Walmart with her two kids.
    She has a nasty looking tattoo on each arm and rotten teeth.
    To make it even worse, she's wearing flip flops and has long,
    filthy toenails
    ( Your typical WalMart shopper ).

    The Walmart Greeter, asks, "Are they twins"?

    The ugly bitch says, "No, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. "Why?... Do you think they look alike?"

    "No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe that you got laid twice"!
    "Ability hits the mark where presumption overshoots and diffidence falls short". Nicholas of Cusa

  2. #2
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    9th December 2005 - 21:40
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    Hahaha very good!!

    My dad is a twin so I am suppost to have twins!!
    I'm gonna make it so PC

  3. #3
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    9th June 2005 - 13:22
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    Hey, thats not very PC! Helen's gang will get you, thats worse than smacking. (lol).

  4. #4
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    4th January 2006 - 19:30
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    HAHAHAHA, Damn that is good.. have some green bling
    There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? -Clerks

  5. #5
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    20th October 2005 - 17:09
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    Have to agree with Zero..........most excellent..........

  6. #6
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    6th June 2005 - 11:14
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    I like it!

  7. #7
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    18th December 2004 - 08:09
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    Very good, bling awarded.

    "If you can't laugh at yourself, you're just not paying attention!"
    "There is no limit to dumb."

    "Resolve to live with all your might while you do live, and as you shall wish you had done ten thousand years hence."

  8. #8
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    13th December 2005 - 08:04
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    haha nice one mate!. bling bling!

  9. #9
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    31st January 2006 - 16:35
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    very good matey

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  10. #10
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    19th January 2007 - 08:10
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    Are they twins?

    A very large, loud, unattractive and hard-faced woman walks into Pak n
    Save
    with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way
    through
    the entrance.

    The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Pak n Save, nice
    children you've got there. Are they twins?"

    The large ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course
    they bloody aren't! The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why
    the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you really think
    they look alike, you dickhead?"

    "Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone
    would shag you twice!"



    Dasser.....There are three kinds of men:
    The ones that learn by reading.
    The few who learn by observation.
    The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

  11. #11
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    25th May 2004 - 23:04
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    You've posted some really good jokes recently but you'll get a smack on the hand for this one because it is a repost! Naughty boy! http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...ighlight=twins
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  12. #12
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    7th November 2004 - 11:00
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    Im watching this Dasser, I have pardoned him once......
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  13. #13
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    19th January 2007 - 08:10
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    Arrrrrr Bugger, sorry guys.....Spank me Beemer...

  14. #14
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    21st December 2006 - 07:09
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    Still a goody though Dasser!!!
    NEVER LET THE TRUTH GET IN THE WAY OF A GOOD STORY!

  15. #15
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    25th May 2004 - 23:04
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    Quote Originally Posted by dasser View Post
    Arrrrrr Bugger, sorry guys.....Spank me Beemer...
    I've told you before, my husband doesn't like it when I spank other guys! You'll have to line up for a spanking from Sniper instead!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

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