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Thread: Limericks

  1. #1
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    Limericks

    Just listening to the bbc ( well thats it for the day and the accounts are going blurry .....)
    Anyway just listening to Kennith Williams on Whose line is it anyway

    anyway the topic was Limerics

    Derrick Nimmo came out with this one ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

    There was an ole poof from Cartoom
    Who once took a Lesbian up to his room

    As they lay lay on the bed

    He suddenly said

    Who does , what , with Whom ?



    Stephen
    "Look, Madame, where we live, look how we live ... look at the life we have...The Republic has forgotten us."

  2. #2
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    there was an old man called bill
    who swallowed a dynamite pill
    the pill went bang
    his arse went clang
    and his balls shot over the hill
    Handle every situation like a dog!

    If you cant eat it, or hump it.
    Piss on it and walk away.

  3. #3
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    There was a young girl from peru
    who filled her vagina with glue
    she said with a grin
    if they pay to get in
    they'll pay to get out of it too!

  4. #4
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    Shed a tear for little Willie
    Little Willie is no more
    for what he thought was H2O
    was H2SO4
    You don't get to be an old dog without learning a few tricks.
    Shorai Powersports batteries are very trick!

  5. #5
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    Ouch...

  6. #6
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    There was a young lady from Nantucket,
    With a cunt as loose as a bucket,
    She'd lay on her back,
    And open her crack,
    For any that wanted to fuck it!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by WRT
    There was a young lady from Nantucket
    For the purposes of a proper stanza she should be a "lass". She also has a spectacularly well-endowed brother...
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  8. #8
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    There once was a man from Kent
    Whose dick was so long that it bent
    To save himself trouble, he'd stick it in double
    Instead of cumming he went!!
    Zen wisdom: No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. - obviously had KB in mind when he came up with that gem

    Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

  9. #9
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    There once was a miser named Clarence
    Who simonized both of his parents
    "The initial expense"
    he remarked, "is immense
    But it saves on the wearance and tearance.
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  10. #10
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    A mathematician named Bath
    Let x equal half that he hath.
    He gave away y
    Then sat down to pi
    And choked. What a sad aftermath.
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  11. #11
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    Prope mare erat tubulator
    Qui virginem ingrediebatur
    "Desine ingressus,
    Audivi progressus!"
    "Est mihi," inquit tubulator.
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hitcher
    Prope mare erat tubulator
    Qui virginem ingrediebatur
    "Desine ingressus,
    Audivi progressus!"
    "Est mihi," inquit tubulator.
    Thats cheating.....
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  13. #13
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    Little Willie, in the best of sashes
    Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes.
    By and by the room grew chilly
    But no-one wanted to stoke up Willie
    You don't get to be an old dog without learning a few tricks.
    Shorai Powersports batteries are very trick!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper
    Thats cheating.....



    And about your sig! I am not an idiot! I'm not!
    You don't get to be an old dog without learning a few tricks.
    Shorai Powersports batteries are very trick!

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edbear
    Little Willie, in the best of sashes
    Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes.
    By and by the room grew chilly
    But no-one wanted to stoke up Willie
    Not a limerick, sorry. Neither was your first.
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

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