Limericks

[ZeroIndex]

I still can't believe i didn't get any green rep or comments about my supercool haiku

[ukbandit]

there was a young lady from ealing (place in uk)
who had a perculiar feeling
she laid on her back
opened her crack
and pissed all over the ceiling

[Macktheknife]

Macktheknife. You should give up before you humiliate yourself even more. Sorry dude, none of those are limericks.

I should bow to your superior knowledge? Bite my arse.

[petesmeats]

This one is my favourite

There was a young lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the lake
A man in a punt
Stuck an oar in her ear
And said "Oi! You can't bathe here, it's private".

And some new ones:

There once was a poet named Dan,
Who's poetry never would scan.
When told this was so,
He said, "Yes, I know"
"It's because I try to put every possible syllable into the very last line that I can" !!

(This is not a limerick i know... but funny none the less)

There once was a lady, Ilene,
Who lived on distilled kerosene,
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon
and since then she's never benzene

(one for the science buffs!!)

There once was a pirate (the story relates)
who liked to go dancing on roller skates.
He fell on his cutlass
which rendered him nutless
and virtually useless on dates

(Pirates are funny!!!)