Is this what I have to look forward to?......
> >You have two choices in life:
> >You can stay single and be miserable,
> >or get married and wish you were dead.
> >
> >At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
> >your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
> >"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
> >
> >A lady inserted an ad in the
> >classifieds:
> >"Husband Wanted".
> >Next day she received a hundred letters.
> >They all said the same thing:
> >"You can have mine."
> >
> >When a woman steals your husband,
> >there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
> >
> >A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished
> >
> >A little boy asked his father,
> >"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
> >Father replied, "I
> >don't know son, I'm still paying."
> >
> >A young son asked,
> >"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his
> >wife until he marries her?"
> >Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
> >
> >Then there was a woman who said,
> >"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then,
> >it was too late."
> >
> >Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
> >
> >If you want your spouse to
> >listen and
> >pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
> >
> >Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
> thinking
> >they had no faults at all.
> >
> >First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
> >Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
> >
> >" A Woman's Prayer:
> >Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to
> forgive
> >him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for
> Strength
> >I'll just beat him to death "
> >
> >Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine
> children. A
> >blind man joins them after a few mi nutes. When the bus arrives,
> they find
> >it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit
> onto the
> >bus.
> >So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
> husband
> >gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he
> taps it
> >on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of
> rubber at
> >the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
> >The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of
> YOUR
> >stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."
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