Southern Grandma
(Did a search - not a repost as far as I can tell!)
Lawyers should never ask a Southern Grandma a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness - a grandmotherly, elderly woman - to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
attorney?"
She again replies, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his
law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention
he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was
your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows
me, I'll send you BOTH to the electric chair."
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