Our future leaders

[Brian d marge]

Mine is 2 years old

so far there really hasnt been a problem ( I mean really) ...

If he falls , he gets picked up dusted off and a bid hug from both

if he does something nice, like try to give you dinner but drops and breaks a plate ..again big hugs and LOTS of praise

If he shows you something , I get off my arse a fein an interest ( overly done ) lots of hugs and praise

we all sleep together on futons on a tatami mat floor so in the morning it interesting where you wake up ( off late I notice that my share is getting smaller and smaller !)

Thow a temper tantum and he get picked up and put in bed and daddy waits outside the door just incase we try a sneaky " lets find mummy and pretend it never happened "

This all happened from the moment he opened his eyes ,,,HOPEFULLY it is/will be constant , clear and as Judge dread says ...I am the law,,,,

Now I have done everything as a young man , so know what to expect ...and as I have said before ...getting in trouble with the police is one thing ....having your ole man hanging around at the party where you are trying to impress the birds is another .....( try me son ..I AM the most embarrasing daddy you will ever have !!)

I feel this passive parenting is to blame , I see it here in Japan ..and I see it with a few pasific Island parents ...

Now I dont know what Pasific Islander parenting WAS like but I take a guess it was pretty good , loving ,strict etc ...what I see is/are lazy warehouse drop kicks, who themselves dont know any better , and who are trying there best ( one hopes) to raise the kid the best way they can

trouble is they dont know , cause they havent been taught ,,,,

you can see the effects of that with the latest crop born after the restructuring of the early eighties .....

even the CIA guide to NZ says the same thing ...nice country but big gap between haves and have nots , bought about by restructuring

Now if the parents cant do it then we the people MUST step in ,,,

I like the idea of boot camp ,,,but I would like to see it bought in at an age before the rot sets in ,.... they say thats about eight years old ...( no I dont mean send all 8 year olds to boot camp !!! ...would be nice , but there will be a greenie somewhere !!_)

I have heard that about the age of eight is where the future is set , So if a stable secure environment can be put in place the ( thaT THE KEY ..stable and secure....),,,surely it would reduce the chances of johnny becoming a drop kick at 14

Now the thing is I not to hot on the military ,,,,BUT The teaching of respect and consequence ,,,I like ( I wish I had done national service )

My son ...if he tries ..lots of love ...tries and fails ..lots of love ....

lies

I ll make him wish he had never been born


Stephen

[RantyDave]

The one thing that physical punishment provides is a very immediate feedback in learning that poor choices have unpleasant consequences

No no no no no. Hitting kids teaches them that hitting kids is OK. You have to have rules, they need to be clear, they need to have consequences and they need to be enforced every single time - but the vast majority of what kids learn they learn from what's around them, and not what it is you're trying to teach at all.

Sorry to pick on such a small proportion of the post. You have the (IMHO) right idea and while kids do need to learn action->consequence, the consquence cannot be that they get a thump.

Dave

[Toast]

The Nature Vs Nurture debate rages on without respite, I personally believe the truth lies in both having a strong influence. However neither is able to be identified as the strongest influence overall, but in the specifics of each case it may be perceived.
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Agreed. They both have an influence, they are both a factor in each individual case. Since the nature part can't be changed, it's the nurture part that must be dynamic, and adapt to deal with the inherent nature of the child.

I agree with Winston001 in that genuine love, vague as the concept may be to many, is the best tool for providing this nurture.