A rant about Family Court

[riffer]

Throught I'd take this one out of the "not being allowed to thread"

I haven't seen my kids for a month now as my ex is violating a court order.

I turned down the option of having my ex arrested and the children seized by the police today in court, as I didn't want my kids (aged 3 and 6) traumatised by these actions, and as her lawyer agreed in court that she would try and resolve access problems with me (I'm supposed to have them this weekend, - its the standard every 2nd weekend & half the school hols thing).

Anyway we step out of the courtroom and her lawyer tells me that she's taking them away for the weekend so I can go jump and the only time she's willing to let me see them is between 3 and 5 during the week FFS.

Not impressed.

[FROSTY:Me]

Dude I totally feel for ya --seriously. I aint gonna jump on the ol the system sucks bandwagon but i will say dude keep ya chin up and take note of everything that was said done -times places etc. --Its a funny thing dude--what goes around comes around --Ive seen it so many times
I concidermyself blessed to have had a relatively pleasant seperation from my ex so it is possibl;e to get allong

[750Y]

sorry to hear that celtic, that's really unfair, I hope the kids enjoy their weekend away tho, as you know, that's the main thing. I really dislike the way that children are used as a currency or a weapon by a selfish & vindictive parent. my best friend(RIP) had this same deal & it really hurt him a lot. but man when he did get to see his kids he was like a kid himself. he lived for those times. when he died his ex & kids never even came to his funeral. now the kids are off the rails. really sad. keep looking forward to the good times. full credit dude.

[Cajun]

Sorry to hear about ya troubles

just one thing, keep a tape recorder in your pocket when dealing with people like that, so you can record what they say, and so in turn can be used later on.

[James Deuce]

Time for a massed KB turn out for the next court appearance. Anyone who rides a motorcycle is a gang memeber so that should be enough for some intimidation.

[Ghost Lemur]

That seriously sucks celticno6. I feel for ya brotha.

I'm still involved in a custody battle with my ex. Thankfully I managed to walk away with the kids so my situation is a little different (her deciding once every 6 months that she wants to be a mum, and then going off the psychological rails again - she's been ingaged like 5 times in the 20-odd months since I left her and had a least one confirmed miscarrige, yet her lawyer , who doesn't even know where she is, keeps trying to say in court that she's stable and should be allowed to see them). And there's still no end in site.

It sounds like you are trying to be civil and think of the kids, and she's taking advantage of that. Unfortunately sometimes the only choice is between two evils and trying to choose the lesser. I do suggest keeping in constant contact with your lawyer and letting them know everything that happens so it's all documented.

It's just unfortunate that you and your kids are being forced to miss out on spending that precious time together.

Stay strong

[Ms Piggy]

Time for a massed KB turn out for the next court appearance. Anyone who rides a motorcycle is a gang memeber so that should be enough for some intimidation.

Yeah I reckon!!

Celtic that sux mate! I'm not a parent so I can't know what it's like at all but hang in there!!

[RiderInBlack]

Sorry to hear that Celticno6. Your not alone went it comes to having suck custody situations. Family Court does not treat Fathers very well. In my last flat in Tuaranga both the landlord and the other flatmate had the custody battles form hell (won't go in to them, but they were really bad situations and it really effected their kids). Recommend you contact The Union Of Fathers as they give each other really good support in these situations.
Oh and always have a witness when picking up your child (not having one really backfired on my old landlord one time when he went to pick-up his daugther).

[toads]

Whatever the difficulties please hang in there celtic, kids need their father's input and believe me there are so many guys that shun the fatherly role, your ex is cutting off her nose to spite her face, so to speak as she needs your support in raising those kids and having a break at weekends is not only great for the kids but for her too, you sound like a sensible person, so don't be discouraged, I'm sure she'll see that the kids need you as much as they need her. It is a great pity that Men generally are not seen as suitable single parents of young children by the system, while it's true that young kids need their mother, it's equally true that young kids need their father. Unbalanced humanistic social policy I'm afraid

[Big Dog]

Time for a massed KB turn out for the next court appearance. Anyone who rides a motorcycle is a gang memeber so that should be enough for some intimidation.

Family court is a closed session, they often ask the parents and or the children to leave for various bits. I was not allowed a support person, not even my live in g/f.

[Big Dog]

Sorry to hear about ya troubles

just one thing, keep a tape recorder in your pocket when dealing with people like that, so you can record what they say, and so in turn can be used later on.

Agreed, my lawyer had me get one and a diary to record and document every single conversation or phone call.

If you don't tell them you are recording it is inadmissable unless it is as evidence of abuse, or violence. So unless you tell them you are recording the actual wording is irrelevant.

Keep on keeping on.

[James Deuce]

Family court is a closed session, they often ask the parents and or the children to leave for various bits. I was not allowed a support person, not even my live in g/f.

I mean outside. Where the lawyer changes the facts.

[Jackrat]

Sorry to hear about ya troubles

just one thing, keep a tape recorder in your pocket when dealing with people like that, so you can record what they say, and so in turn can be used later on.

No don't do that,it is ILLEGAL and you cannot use it later on,in fact it WOULD make things a LOT worse.
Celtic,Just keep doing the right thing and hopefully you will win in the end.
I can't even begin to understand how hard it must be for you but please don't take any advice like that above even though it was well ment.
Best of luck mate.

[White trash]

Celtic, I feel for you mate. My kids are my life and to not be able to see them would rip my guts out. Luckily my ex-wife is pretty good and I see mine every day.

Keep at it man, you'll get there.

[riffer]

Thanks for all the support guys.

This is an ongoing situation unfortunately, mainly caused by my ex hating my wife.

When I met my wife my ex told me I had to choose between having a girlfriend and having children.

I tried to have both.

Trouble is now she's trying to say my wife is a danger to the kids.

A tough situation. We're not taking it personally at the moment. With any luck the counsel for the children will consider it poor form for my ex to take away the kids for the weekend after having her lawyer tell the judge that she was committed to working out some kind of access arrangement.

At least we still have one kid at home, and rugby in the morning to look forward to, and a ride on Sunday morning over the 'takas!