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Thread: Does anyone here speak Gobbledegook?

  1. #1
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    Does anyone here speak Gobbledegook?

    Attached is an article from a Chamber of Commerce newsletter received today - a bit of a giggle.

    I've read it 5 times, and I still can't get past the first sentence, which is 77 words with no punctuation.

    Is the "Campaign for Plain English" still around?
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    Can I believe the magic of your size... (The Shirelles)

  2. #2
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    Chamber of commerce newsletter you say?

    What unholy act of debauchery did you commit to be sentenced to be on their mailing list!?

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virago
    77 words with no punctuation
    There's four full stops and a comma. What more do you want....?

  4. #4
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    Trick of The Month? - understanding that clap-trap, sheesh!!
    Winding up drongos, foil hat wearers and over sensitive KBers for over 14,000 posts...........
    " Life is not a rehearsal, it's as happy or miserable as you want to make it"

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Drum
    .......What unholy act of debauchery did you commit to be sentenced to be on their mailing list!?
    Aah, it's called Networking - but don't worry, there's no Amway involved....
    Can I believe the magic of your size... (The Shirelles)

  6. #6
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    That's classic consultant speak. If you didn't understand what was written then you obviously aren't smart enough which justifies needing an overpaid consultant with the brains of a septic mongolian tree tomato to write it for you.

  7. #7
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    Ow my head herts now. I think I need a beer

  8. #8
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    Looks alot like the legislation that I have to refer to everyday, except alot harder to read. How the hell did you manage to get that sent to you?!
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  9. #9
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    Written by an accountant for an accountant. Actually he hasn't made a bad job of it if you compare with the Goods and Services Tax Act 1985 itself. http://www.legislation.govt.nz/brows...t=pal_statutes

    And the GST Act is small beside the Income Tax Act 2004 - all 4 volumes of it.




    And now for something completely different -


    It's fun to charter an accountant
    And sail the wide accountancy,
    To find, explore the funds offshore
    And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy!

    It can be manly in insurance.
    We'll up your premium semi-annually.
    It's all tax deductible.
    We're fairly incorruptible,
    We're sailing on the wide accountancy

  10. #10
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    I bet he has a problem getting laid.
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper
    I bet he has a problem getting laid.
    Depends how much he's getting paid.... Some chicks only see $$ and nothing else matters...
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  12. #12
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    Ahhh, the Crimson Permanent Assurance.
    If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?



  13. #13
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    I think it means that you can deduct the GST you pay on a good that is used for allowing another good to be supplied. (i.e a truck to transport hay) Once that good has been sold?

    It could be so much simpler, I don't think the subject material is rocket science...

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    The failure to exercise or delay in exercising a right or remedy under this Agreement shall not constitute a waiver of the right or remedy or a waiver of any other rights or remedies and no single or partial exercise of any right or remedy under this Agreement shall prevent any further exercise of the right or remedy or the exercise of any other right or remedy. The rights and remedies contained in this Agreement are cumulative and not exclusive of any rights or remedies provided by law.
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

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    The switched main live is generally a single black wire and this is connected to the brown wire(s) on the fitting. On a wall light this should be a single red wire. The neutral is generally two black wires and these are connected to the blue wire(s). On a wall light this should be a single black wire. The mains earth wire(s) must be connected to all green/yellow wire(s) or earth terminal on the fitting. When completed ensure that there are no bare or loose strands of wire exposed, and cover all exposed areas of terminal blocks with insulation tape
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

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