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Thread: Lord Finn

  1. #1
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    Lord Finn

    Yes, you read it right. Just when you thought I couldn’t get any more annoying, I hit you with this. True story. I’ll try to keep it brief.

    My father was born in England and moved to Canada after the war and met and married my mother. Proof that I’m not a bastard, but not is all it seems. They moved to NZ where I grew up (actually I just got older) with my 3 brothers. That was it. No other family. My mother was a single child so that ended there but my father had 6 bothers and 1 sister. Most of them resided in South Africa, some in France, the rest in the UK.

    Now it gets interesting. At the age of 30, I had never met any of them but began wondering why we had 2 surnames in our family. I also wondered how my Grandfather made so much money when all he was skilled in was horse training. I tried to get some answers but my father was strangely tight lipped about our family history. Well he got cancer last year and subsequently died in Dec but on his way out he threw this one at me.

    My Grandfather was the illegitimate son of Lord Thomas Brassey Jnr. His father, Lord Brassey Snr was the famous railway magnate in the 1800’s who built most of the railways throughout the UK, France and a few other European countries. Jnr was the first person to circumnavigate the globe in a steam powered sailing ship, The Sunbeam and even visited NZ in the late 1800’s. He became the Governor of Victoria for a while too.

    The story goes that Lord Brassey fancied the maid, shagged her and out poped pops. Grandad went to a private military school, which one would assume, would be out of reach for a commoner like my Great grandmother. He said he was often visited by a man who spoke funny and when he turned 21, he inherited a fortune. My Grandfathers name was Thomas, which was also my father’s middle name.

    This explains my uncontrollable fascination with trains, boats and shagging maids. I'm continuing to research this through genealogy sites and it's really interesting.

    Now away with you peasants.

    Lord Finn.

  2. #2
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    Bloody hell.....
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  3. #3
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    Arthur and his trusty servant Patsy "ride" into a field where peasants are
    working. They come up behind a cart which is being dragged by a hunched-over
    peasant in ragged clothing. Patsy slows as they near the cart.

    Arthur: Old Woman!

    The peasant turns around, revealing that he is in fact a man.

    Man: Man!
    Arthur: Man, sorry.... What knight lives in that castle over there?
    Man: I'm thirty-seven!
    Arthur: (suprised) What?
    Man: I'm thirty-seven! I'm not old--
    Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man"...
    Man: Well you could say "Dennis"--
    Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis!
    Man: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?!
    Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind, you looked--
    Man: Well I object to your...you automatically treat me like an inferior!
    Arthur: Well I *am* king...
    Man: Oh, king, eh, very nice. And 'ow'd you get that, eh?
    (he reaches his destination and stops, dropping the cart)
    By exploiting the workers! By 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma
    which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
    If there's ever going to be any progress,--
    Woman: Dennis! There's some lovely filth down 'ere!
    (noticing Arthur) Oh! 'Ow'd'ja do?
    Arthur: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose
    castle is that?
    Woman: King of the 'oo?
    Arthur: King of the Britons.
    Woman: 'Oo are the Britons?
    Arthur: Well we all are! We are all Britons! And I am your king.
    Woman: I didn't know we 'ad a king! I thought we were autonomous collective.
    Man: (mad) You're fooling yourself! We're living in a dictatorship! A
    self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
    Woman: There you go, bringing class into it again...
    Man: That's what it's all about! If only people would--
    Arthur: Please, *please*, good people, I am in haste! WHO lives in that
    castle?
    Woman: No one lives there.
    Arthur: Then who is your lord?
    Woman: We don't have a lord!
    Arthur: (spurised) What??
    Man: I *told* you! We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune! We're taking
    turns to act as a sort of executive-officer-for-the-week--
    Arthur: (uninterested) Yes...
    Man: But all the decisions *of* that officer 'ave to be ratified at a
    special bi-weekly meeting--
    Arthur: (perturbed) Yes I see!
    Man: By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs--
    Arthur: (mad) Be quiet!
    Man: But by a two-thirds majority, in the case of more major--
    Arthur: (very angry) BE QUIET! I *order* you to be quiet!
    Woman: "Order", eh, 'oo does 'e think 'e is?
    Arthur: I am your king!
    Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!
    Arthur: You don't vote for kings!
    Woman: Well 'ow'd you become king then?
    (holy music up)
    Arthur: The Lady of the Lake-- her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite,
    held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by
    divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why
    I am your king!
    Man: (laughingly) Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords
    is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power
    derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some... farcical
    aquatic ceremony!
    Arthur: (yelling) BE QUIET!
    Man: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some
    watery tart threw a sword at you!!
    Arthur: (coming forward and grabbing the man) Shut *UP*!
    Man: I mean, if I went 'round, saying I was an emperor, just because some
    moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
    Arthur: (throwing the man around) Shut up, will you, SHUT UP!
    Man: Aha! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
    Arthur: SHUT UP!
    Man: (yelling to all the other workers) Come and see the violence inherent
    in the system! HELP, HELP, I'M BEING REPRESSED!
    Arthur: (letting go and walking away) Bloody PEASANT!
    Man: Oh, what a giveaway! Did'j'hear that, did'j'hear that, eh? That's
    what I'm all about! Did you see 'im repressing me? You saw it,
    didn't you?!
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  4. #4
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    That's really interesting Finn.
    Slow day at work?
    Or have all the receptionists synchronised and are off-limits?
    Speed doesn't kill people.
    Stupidity kills people.

  5. #5
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    haha good stuff Sniper
    You can't fight sleep.. if you feel tired, stop and rest!

  6. #6
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    Ah... Lord Finn eh...

    Well I'm sure if I traced back far enough I could be Baron Weasel

  7. #7
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    [QUOTE=Finn] I'm continuing to research this through genealogy sites and it's really interesting.[/ QUOTE]

    Hello your Highness. Mrs B is a keen family genealogist and has access to a gazillion of those websites and census CD's etc. Alas, not too many skeletons or otherwise on either side of the family. One of mine was the designer of the Gloster Meteor WW2 jet fighter and Mrs B has a Scot who was apparently an astronomer of note. No maids to shag regrettably. Perhaps you could courier one down???

    Yours humbly...

  8. #8
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    Im related to Ginger Spice... beat that
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper
    Im related to Ginger Spice... beat off
    Ginger spice cradled me through my formative years man... but then she got skinny and lost all appeal

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lou Girardin
    Or have all the receptionists synchronised and are off-limits?
    Divide and conquer! Their performance reviews are spread throughout the year. No problem.

  11. #11
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    According to this, the REAL Lord Finn is headed off to the UK
    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/st...ectID=10387215
    "Atomic batteries to power...turbines to speed..."
    - Page 14 of the Buell Owners Manual

  12. #12
    And where does the Finn come from? My uncle called my brother Finn all his life...short for John O Finn I presume.We are of Irish decent,but my uncle was Maori.But you are no brother of mine....oh jeez,I hope....

    Our family name was found on Charles 1'st death warrant....the change of wind saw said person's body dug up and his bones scattered.I guess we fell from grace and have been paupers ever since.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Motu
    And where does the Finn come from?
    Tis the name of my dog. Wasn't in a very creative mood when I signed up.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finn
    This explains my uncontrollable fascination with trains, boats and shagging maids.
    And dusting, cleaning and general household chores?
    It's just one of those days, where you don't wanna wake up,
    everything is fucked, everybody sucks,
    You don't really know why but you wanna justify ripping someone's head off

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper
    Im related to Ginger Spice... beat that
    Someone on my dads side of the family has a huge family tree, (covers two tennis courts when its all laid out).
    Apparantly im related to Richard Nixon (dont know if thats a good thing),and also French Royalty.

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