Alone for first time

[Kendog]

Study something, do a couple of papers in something that interests you, and maybe get a pet.

[yungatart]

Do those things that you have always put off until one day...the day is here and now! Cook simple things that don't take huge effort and freeze some for later on. Walk around the house naked, sing at the top of your voice - preferably badly, leave the toilet door open (the seat will always be down BTW), join the library and have a read, get a pet, join the gym, take up a night class....
I envy you in lots of ways, it must be nice to not be at the beck and call of others all the time.. Enjoy it!

[Paul in NZ]

Re the cooking thingie...

I used to spend a LOT of time by myself 'on the road' for work.

One thing I'd do was put a lot of effort into a decent meal and make enough for 2 nights at least. Second night just 'ding' it in the old microwave and if it involved mince, diced pork or stuff like that it would always taste better on the second night.

Hey, if you are bored... There is a shite load of charities that need volunteers, don't be sad, do some good in the world!!!

Paul N

[Colapop]

Do whatever you want to do. Sounds easy to say but, unless you have responsibilties that tie you to where you are, pick and go girl. Do whatever makes YOU happy. Go where you want, try anything you like. You've got it all laid before you. You don't need to consult anyone or compromise.

Slightly Confuscious now...

Do not seek and that which you desire will find you.

[Rashika]

Def agree with a lot of what has been said. Altho I have a flatmate now...not sure for how long I can stand him tho... I have spent a lot of time living on my own.
I love being able to cook whatever I like and yeah cooking for a couple of nights at once is sensible, and that way if ya wanna you CAN have the same meal two nights in a row, I mean WHOS going to complain about it??
Running around naked in the house is always fun too
If you have time, try some night classes, good way to meet people and even learn something new.
And then there is of course us eh? ...and MSN too you know
I wish I had more time at the moment, only 1 week till school hols and 2 weeks of no night classes YEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Night classes are great but really think SERIOUSLY before taking on a 2 year diploma (3 nights a week), its farking hard work....

[chanceyy]

Other half ended relationship - so not really my choice!.

Thanks heaps for your support - I know I will get through, just lonely I guess being away from friends and family I grew up with - came up here for relationship so now that's ended kinda feel lost, but my independence will return.

Thanks for tips.

Hi ya girl .. same thing here 8 months ago .. could have whacked me with a 4x2 and i would have seen that coming alot faster than the split .. it does knock you for a sixer, I was pretty independant before we got together so getting back into a sole routine is hard.

Keeping busy, getting out & about with freinds does give you something to look forward to each day.

will also say take the time out for yourself as well, healing does take time so greive when you need too and if you need support rely on your friends.

It does get easier ... time does help .. chin up girl ..

[The_Dover]

I know this is probably way off topic - but I'm just learning to live for first time on my own. Does anyone else live on their own?

I have real trouble with motivation to cook proper meals, do anything in weekends - I'm hoping I don't get too bored of bike cos I've got no-one to ride with now either.

So any suggestions to make this transition easier would be really helpful.

Find the nearest tinnie house.

Get suitably stoned.

Ride to MacD's

Get your munch on.

Then go home and masturbate profusely, until your fingers bleed.

Repeat ad infinum.

[crashe]

Your local supermarket has already pre- made up meals to just throw in the microwave..
Or make up a few meals yourself and shove them in the freezer.

Riding by yourself - Mate go out and discover new roads in your area... Im sure there are some other riders on KB around in your area.
Its also great to go out riding by yourself as well.

Weekend riding - Pack your saddle bags and ride to Chch for the weekend and meet up with that bunch... they may even head up your way to meet you half way and then ride half way way back with you at the end of the weekend.

Go out and discover life and live it to how you want to live life.

Do what YOU want to do and do it when you want.
You no longer have to answer to no one and tell them where you are.

Get a new hobby or do a night course and you will meet new friends.

Its ok to go to the movies alone....

But it takes time to get over from being in a relationship.
It takes time to heal, but you will get there.

Plus you have all of us on KB to chat to.

[Macktheknife]

Hi Chic, invest in a crock-pot for the cooking, best thing ever IMO, and cook for a couple of meals worth, freeze the other serving or reheat tomorrow. As for the riding, check your local bike clubs, bound to be one, or hook up with other KBers in the area for a bit of a spin.
The biggest thing is to take the time you have now as a bonus for sorting out what you want in a partner and in your life in general. Be kind to yourself and dont spend too much time thinking about your ex or what went wrong.
Experiment with hobbies too, try new things and go to places that you haven't been before.
When feeling lonely, have a friend to call on, don't dwell on it. Also consider taking up some form of martial art training, great excercise and really helps your confidence too. Finally, write a list of things you really think you would enjoy doing, some old and some new, then go do them, not all at once. But don't fall into the trap of 'not being complete as a single', life is for the living.... Carpe Diem.
Have fun and keep us posted.

[paturoa]

can you pick a better font and colour - thats real hard to read

[The_Dover]

can you pick a better font and colour - thats real hard to read

Especiallywhen you are stoned

[ManDownUnder]

Check http://www.healthyfood.co.nz/ and see if you can get hold of the April edition (happy to photocopy and post or fax relevant bits if you want - PM details if required).

"Meals for One" is one section, "Too busy to eat properly" is another

Most magazine/cook books are ok - this one rocks. Put together by people atually qualified in the area. We have a young family so the time issue is critical to us - not so much the "can't be bothered" one you likely have.

Also, a more general note. Find survivors. Those that have been through what you are going through, those that can help. Avoid anyone that didn't survive - they're clearly not the ones that have the good advice and need help themselves - something I expect you may not be in a position to give right now.

Be selfish. If EVER there was a time... this is it. Call favours of people - just becaue you need to. Look after #1... and I expect you're going to have some ups and downs. That's ok. The thing that got me through my crisis was simply knowning they were coming - when a down gets ya... revel in it. Cry, work through it and ignore anyone telling you to just "cheer up". If you could - you would... you can't - so don't confuse things by trying. You'll cheer up when the time is right.

Just be you and know that a better day is coming. Ups and downs might last a while... they likely will - and the sneaky little bastards will get you when you least expect it. 'tis ok.

The down times will reduce over time - you'll survive...
MDU

[dangerous]

I know this is probably way off topic - but I'm just learning to live for first time on my own. Does anyone else live on their own?

I have real trouble with motivation to cook proper meals, do anything in weekends - I'm hoping I don't get too bored of bike cos I've got no-one to ride with now either.

So any suggestions to make this transition easier would be really helpful.

Hey Kelz, yeah I live alone, like it too so make the most of it while you can cos a girl like you wont be alone for long.
cooking, dont ask me cos I dont do it, cant be buggered for just me, different story if I have company tho.
Its winter, cant bloody well ride anyway, but in a few months yoy will have a beter idea were ya want to go so, when the snow melts... you will have pleanty to ride with

[Beemer]

Join a club or something that will get you out and about and also introduce you to some new friends of both sexes - it can be anything from a photography club, motorcycle club (usually VERY sociable!) or taking a night class in something that interests you - even a cooking class to give you some great meal ideas.

Don't get into the takeaway or pre-prepared meals trap every night. There is only the two of us but I make full servings of meals and freeze the other two portions - you can do the same even if you're alone. I have a great microwave curry recipe made with rump steak that makes four servings - and it freezes well. Cook a roast and have the left over meat for another meal or for sandwiches. Even if you just have soup and toast, make sure you do eat a balanced diet. Yes, it does take just about as long to cook for one as for four, but the last thing you want to be is alone AND sick because you aren't eating right!

It's a shame you're in Blenheim because I'd start by inviting you around for dinner! Good luck, and hopefully you'll find some great new friends to replace the one who obviously wasn't the right one.

[andrea]

hey gurl how u doing, i broke up with the ex bout a year ago, and it was the damn best move ive ever made. anyways you gotta keep yourself busy and hang out with friends or family. trust me it works, well basically he told me to pretty much get out, so i packed up my things and went, first two or three months i couldnt get my mind off the cunt, but then i kept myself busy and went and got my bike licence and got my bike and a whole lot of other shit, eventually the bike rides and keeping busy and going back to study and making new friends got my mind off the a-hole and i stopped txting his sister and stopped talking to my friend that works with him. and yeah it helps to pull away from anyone that has contact with ur ex etc, anyways hang in there you'll make it.