Why it pays to be a Zimbabwean

[placidfemme]

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He decides he’ll pick the least painful to spend his eternity. He goes to Germany Hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day".
The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on. He checks out the USA Hell as well as the Russia Hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell Then he comes to the Zimbabwean Hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.
Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Zimbabwean devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day. "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells why are there so many people waiting to get in?" asks the man.
"Because there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work. The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on. And, on top of it, the Zimbabwean devil used to be a civil servant,so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for private business."
SO YOU SEE...IT PAYS TO BE A ZIMBABWEAN!!

[ZeroIndex]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to placidfemme again.

Damn that was another good joke.. where'd you get them from?

[placidfemme]

Damn that was another good joke.. where'd you get them from?

Can you tell I'm bored at work? all over the place...

[Colapop]

Today's efforts show just how much you've got on your plate....

[placidfemme]

Today's efforts show just how much you've got on your plate....

lol yeah the boss is in whangarei...

[jrandom]

I have an IDEA!

It's a good 'un.

placidfemme, why don't you paste all your jokes into a BIIIIIIIG file, compress it, and upload it as an attachment to a new thread?

You could name the thread 'placidfemme's BIG JOKE COLLECTION', and then one of the moderators could make it sticky like five-minute-old semen on a whore's tits.

Then, whenever one of us got bored, or sad, or lonely, we could surf over to 'placidfemme's BIG JOKE COLLECTION', and be cheered up.

Also, you'd free up all that posting time, and you could contribute a few more of those gems you occasionally pop out on topical subjects, giving everyone even further insight into your fascinating psyche, and making those of us who've never met you in person feel just a little... incomplete.

[Sniper]

Bad night Fish?

[Meanie]

haw haw haw

[placidfemme]

I have an IDEA!

It's a good 'un.

placidfemme, why don't you paste all your jokes into a BIIIIIIIG file, compress it, and upload it as an attachment to a new thread?

You could name the thread 'placidfemme's BIG JOKE COLLECTION', and then one of the moderators could make it sticky like five-minute-old semen on a whore's tits.

Then, whenever one of us got bored, or sad, or lonely, we could surf over to 'placidfemme's BIG JOKE COLLECTION', and be cheered up.

Also, you'd free up all that posting time, and you could contribute a few more of those gems you occasionally pop out on topical subjects, giving everyone even further insight into your fascinating psyche, and making those of us who've never met you in person feel just a little... incomplete.

Yeah I thought about that... but I don't go searching for jokes often...

And my topics (not the jooke related ones) are generally well thought out as to how many people will be "sparked up by it". I don't always agree with what I'm saying, I just get bored and like to stir things up a bit

*always feels so proud when a thread of mine exceeds 6 pages*