Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Why it pays to be a Zimbabwean

  1. #1
    Join Date
    9th February 2005 - 13:27
    Bike
    ...
    Location
    Van Morrison
    Posts
    2,699

    Why it pays to be a Zimbabwean

    A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
    He decides he’ll pick the least painful to spend his eternity. He goes to Germany Hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day".
    The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on. He checks out the USA Hell as well as the Russia Hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell Then he comes to the Zimbabwean Hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.
    Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Zimbabwean devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day. "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells why are there so many people waiting to get in?" asks the man.
    "Because there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work. The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on. And, on top of it, the Zimbabwean devil used to be a civil servant,so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for private business."
    SO YOU SEE...IT PAYS TO BE A ZIMBABWEAN!!
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  2. #2
    Join Date
    4th January 2006 - 19:30
    Bike
    2011 Kawasaki ZX-14 "Monster"
    Location
    Newcastle
    Posts
    3,293
    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to placidfemme again.
    Damn that was another good joke.. where'd you get them from?
    There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? -Clerks

  3. #3
    Join Date
    9th February 2005 - 13:27
    Bike
    ...
    Location
    Van Morrison
    Posts
    2,699
    Quote Originally Posted by ZeroIndex
    Damn that was another good joke.. where'd you get them from?
    Can you tell I'm bored at work? all over the place...
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  4. #4
    Join Date
    2nd April 2005 - 11:58
    Bike
    .
    Location
    .
    Posts
    5,095
    Today's efforts show just how much you've got on your plate....
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  5. #5
    Join Date
    9th February 2005 - 13:27
    Bike
    ...
    Location
    Van Morrison
    Posts
    2,699
    Quote Originally Posted by Colapop
    Today's efforts show just how much you've got on your plate....
    lol yeah the boss is in whangarei...
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  6. #6
    Join Date
    3rd July 2003 - 12:00
    Bike
    Scorpio, XL1200N
    Location
    forests of azure
    Posts
    9,398
    I have an IDEA!

    It's a good 'un.

    placidfemme, why don't you paste all your jokes into a BIIIIIIIG file, compress it, and upload it as an attachment to a new thread?

    You could name the thread 'placidfemme's BIG JOKE COLLECTION', and then one of the moderators could make it sticky like five-minute-old semen on a whore's tits.

    Then, whenever one of us got bored, or sad, or lonely, we could surf over to 'placidfemme's BIG JOKE COLLECTION', and be cheered up.

    Also, you'd free up all that posting time, and you could contribute a few more of those gems you occasionally pop out on topical subjects, giving everyone even further insight into your fascinating psyche, and making those of us who've never met you in person feel just a little... incomplete.
    kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
    - mikey

  7. #7
    Join Date
    7th November 2004 - 11:00
    Bike
    Aquired by locals
    Location
    Groote Eylandt
    Posts
    6,606
    Bad night Fish?
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  8. #8
    Join Date
    30th January 2006 - 20:58
    Bike
    Concours 14
    Location
    Kwakaville
    Posts
    2,537
    haw haw haw

  9. #9
    Join Date
    9th February 2005 - 13:27
    Bike
    ...
    Location
    Van Morrison
    Posts
    2,699
    Quote Originally Posted by Fish
    I have an IDEA!

    It's a good 'un.

    placidfemme, why don't you paste all your jokes into a BIIIIIIIG file, compress it, and upload it as an attachment to a new thread?

    You could name the thread 'placidfemme's BIG JOKE COLLECTION', and then one of the moderators could make it sticky like five-minute-old semen on a whore's tits.

    Then, whenever one of us got bored, or sad, or lonely, we could surf over to 'placidfemme's BIG JOKE COLLECTION', and be cheered up.

    Also, you'd free up all that posting time, and you could contribute a few more of those gems you occasionally pop out on topical subjects, giving everyone even further insight into your fascinating psyche, and making those of us who've never met you in person feel just a little... incomplete.
    Yeah I thought about that... but I don't go searching for jokes often...

    And my topics (not the jooke related ones) are generally well thought out as to how many people will be "sparked up by it". I don't always agree with what I'm saying, I just get bored and like to stir things up a bit

    *always feels so proud when a thread of mine exceeds 6 pages*
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •