A new priest at his first mass was so scared he could hardly speak. After the service he asked the monsignor how he had done, "fine but next week it might help if you put a little vodka or gin in your water to relax you" replied the monsignor.
The next week the new priest put vodka in his water and really kicked up a storm.
After the mass he asked the monsignor " well how'd that one go"; "fine" he said, " but there are a few things you should get straight"
1) There are 10 commandments, not 12
2) There are 12 disciples, not 10
3) David slew goliath, he didn't kick the crap out of him
4) We do not refer to jesus as the late J.C
5)Next week there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St Taffy's
6) The father, son and holy ghost are not big daddy, junior and the spook
7) Moses parted water at the red sea, he didn't pass water
8) We do not refer to judas as El Pinko
9) The pope is conserrated, not castrated and we do not refer to him as the godfather
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks