Shark Bait

[Marknz]

Out on her royal yacht the queen was enjoying the sea air when she spied a man in the water off the port bow - clearly being menaced by a very large shark. Through her binoculars she could see it was Christian Ronaldo, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!

The queen ordered the captain to change course to try and save the poor man, but she knew the yachts top speed would never get them there in time.
At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men wearing white tops sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled Ronaldo from the water and, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.

They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling ....... It was the Queen calling them to the yacht.

On reaching yacht the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I'll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I thought the England team would hate Ronaldo after the world cup. But I see that the England team are true heroes and should serve as a model for sportsmanship to other countries."

She knighted them and sailed away.

As she departed Rooney asked the others, "Who was that?!" "That," Beckham answered, "was our Queen. She rules the Commonwealth and knows everything about our country."

"Well," Rooney replied, "she knows F all about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up ?"

[Lias]

Ooooooooold joke. The below version is from a 1960's song by Johnny Rebel. Probably predates the song but its the earliest version I've heard.

L.B.J. was a-flyin' one morn'
Over south Louisiana...feeling forlorn
When he looks down below, and what does he see?
Two cajuns pullin' a nigger on ski's!

So he lands, and says, "Thanks for helping your black brother!"
And them two cajuns just looked at each other
And said, "He might be smart, but I'll tell you something..."
"He don't know a thing about alligator huntin'!"

[The Pastor]

Jhonny rebel is a racist, I was getting some jhonny cash songs off the net, where one of them was "johnny rebel - ship those niggers back" unaceptable.