St Peter

[Wolf]

Apologies if this is a repost. I did a search but could not find it.

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit? "St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.

"Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or you'll answer to me!"

St Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago!"

[BeakerRAT]

An oldie but a goodie.

[placidfemme]

lol he didn't help the chick then did he...

[Ozzie]

lol he didn't help the chick then did he...

Actually, he distracted the bikers long enough for her to mount one of the bikes (the one that worked), and ride off into the sunset.

[ZeroIndex]

hahaha, that was funny.. green rep sent

[dasser]

A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is
reading through the Big Book to see if the guy's name is written in it.

After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and
says, "I'm sorry, I don't see your name written in the Book."

"How current is your copy?" he asks.

"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies, "why do you ask?"

"I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was not
until my death was imminent that I cried out to God, so my name probably
hasn't arrived to your copy yet."

"I'm glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we're waiting for the update
to come through, can tell me about a really good deed that you did in your
life?"

The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Humm, well there was this one time
when I was driving down a road and I saw a group of biker gang members
harassing this poor girl.

I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of them harassing
this poor woman.

Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and
walked up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy, 6-foot-4, 260
pounds, with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to
his ears.

As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around me and told
me to get lost or I'd be next."

"So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed him over the
head with the tire iron.

Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, "Leave this poor
innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home
before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!"

St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"

"About three minutes ago."

[S&S]

Brilliant

[YellowDog]

A young man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates :

'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.

'Well, I can think of one thing,' he offered.
'On a shopping trip to Manurewa, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him inhis face ...
Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on theground.
I yelled, 'Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Just a couple of minutes ago...'

[CookMySock]

LOL I like it..

Steve