Bike accident

[placidfemme]

where do you find a quadraplegic?





where you left him

haha bling awarded... that tickled my fancy

[Finn]

What do you call an Irish chick with one leg shorter than the other?

Ilene.

How do you get a Nun pregnant?





























You fuck her, dumbass

[Beemer]

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head and no torso either?

Dick.

What do you call a man who's been attacked by a tiger?

Claude.

What do you call a white man who dies and gets wings?
An angel.
What do you call a black man who dies and gets wings?
A bat.

What do you call an uncircumcised Jewish baby>

A girl.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

[beyond]

What did the bus conductor say to the man with three eyes, one leg and no arms?












Eye, eye, eye, you look armless enough, hop on.

[beyond]

What did the man do who owned a dog with no legs?











Took it for a drag around the block.

[beyond]

What do you call a dog with no legs.











Does it matter, it aint going to come anyway.

[Sniper]

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter.

What do you call a gorrilla with a machine gun

Sir

[TerminalAddict]

How do you get a Nun pregnant?
You fuck her dumbass

errr .. wrong hole methinks

[Finn]

errr .. wrong hole methinks

Ah yes, a comma makes all the difference but I like the way you think.

[T.W.R]

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in Dublin. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "what man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, " Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.

She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked "what man here will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again the little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

[spudchucka]

Why wasn't Christ born in Australia?


They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

[Fub@r]

The Nursing Home Police


Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to
charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel,
and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because
the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other
residents tolerated her,and some of the men actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when Fast Eddie
outstretched his hand."STOP!" he shouted in a firm voice."Have
you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her
handbag and pulled out a Kit-Kat wrapper, and held it up to
him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she
took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped
out in front of her and shouted, "STOP!" "Have you got proof of insurance?"
Ethel dug into her handbag,pulled out a drink coaster,and held it up to him.
Harold nodded, and said "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, CrazyCraig stepped
out in front of her, stark naked, with a very sizable erection.

Oh, good grief," cried Ethel, "Not the Breathalyser again!"