When girls don't put out

**MSTRS:Me** · 28th December 2004, 10:23

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets
thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,
"No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank
as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just
want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile. You're just not in touch with my
financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs
as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

**placidfemme** · 24th August 2005, 12:58

lol I just had to share this... then men will love it

~~~

Being a man, I have never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differs so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their heads and women with their hearts. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????! ! ! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let’s get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you .she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck! I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey". She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT??? ! ! ! " I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman. " And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the THINGS that I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.....

**John** · 24th August 2005, 13:04

owns owns owns

**DemonWolf** · 24th August 2005, 13:05

haahaha.. thats soo funny... love it!!!

**ManDownUnder** · 24th August 2005, 13:09

like it - lots...

**Sniper** · 24th August 2005, 13:10

Seen it before but that version is very very good

**Sparky Bills** · 24th August 2005, 13:16

BURN!!!

**inlinefour** · 25th August 2005, 03:08

Best joke I've read for awhile!

**placidfemme** · 25th August 2005, 07:41

Originally Posted by Sparky Bills

BURN!!!

lol yup...

**Riff Raff** · 25th August 2005, 08:34

Originally Posted by placidfemme

Being a man, I have never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differs so much.

You're a man?!!!! Does Sam know about this?

**placidfemme** · 25th August 2005, 09:51

Originally Posted by Riff Raff

You're a man?!!!! Does Sam know about this?

No she doesn't.... but you can't tell her

it'd break her lil heart... then her father would hunt me down and kill me and then burn my bike

**Cibby** · 20th September 2005, 08:36

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she
eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you
to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet
dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my
emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy
your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you
just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realising that nothing was going to happen that night
I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work
to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch
and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept.
store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy
them all. She wanted new shoes to complement her new
clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went on to the jewellery dept. where she picked out a
pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's
fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual
satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this
is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No
honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went
completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for awhile... You're just not in touch with
my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to
kill me, I added: "Why can't you just love me for who
I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either!