When girls don't put out

[Colapop]

Uhuh ... yeah .. that\'s ok we\'re hear for you...

[Shadows]

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, we were all over each other and just when I was ready to pound nails through two inch plywood she looks up at me and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[TerminalAddict]

where's sniper?

[ManDownUnder]

Yeah - reee-pete (but fucken funny 2nd time around too LOL )

[Bend-it]

OUTSTANDING!!!!

Bling awarded!

[Swoop]

A serious duplicate posting if ever there was one...

[willy_01]

Gold .... pure gold

[tomthepohm]

Massive respect mate....

Just get yourself a slut like the rest of us, its far less hassle.

[Disco Dan]

I never quite figured out:

Why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. The whole Venus
And Mars thing. Why men think with their head and women with their
Heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.Well,
The passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
Like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
Hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
Me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
For who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
With her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
Big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
On several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy
Them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said
Lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department
Where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
Wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
Because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know
How to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
All dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when
I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this
Stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as
A man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And
Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
You?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[Maha]

But first you need a woman!......

[Colapop]

You could tell him where to find one... but he'd get lost!

Hmmm funny that - That's what women say to him, "Get lost" - very obliging that fella!

[ManDownUnder]

Hells teeth... just head on down to the pub. There's a special room there full of 'em.

It's even got "Women" on the door... what more do you want?

[Maha]

It's even got "Women" on the door... what more do you want?

Hanging off the ceiling fans?.....

[Grahameeboy]

Hanging off the ceiling fans?.....

Fantasising again eh?

[007XX]

Fantasising again eh?

You say that like it's a bad thing...

and about Disco's story...an oldie, but a goodie! Although I do think it is a very broad generalisation of the female mind...but noone wants to believe me when I say we're not all like that