Little Red Riding Hood

[McJim]

Little Red Riding hood was skipping through the enchanted forest on her way to her grandmother's cottage when she heard a rustling in the bushes at the side of the path.
"Mr Big Bad Wolf, I can see you in those bushes - you can't surprise me." she said.
The wolf appeared and scurried off through the undergrowth muttering under his breath.
Further down the road she spotted some more bushes moving, once again she said "Mr Big Bad Wolf, I can see you in those bushes - you can't surprise me." and again the wolf scurried off still muttering.
Nearly at grandmother's cottage and the bushes are rustling at the side of the path.
"Mr Big Bad Wolf - I can see you again!" she shouts.
The Big Bad Wolf then stands up and says

"Aw for fuck's sake, can't you just let me do a shite in peace!?!"

[McJim]

Ach well, I thought it was funny anyway.......

[mstriumph]

now THAT's funny!

[McJim]

Talking of little red riding hoods (another name for a scarlet condom)

A scotsman wins a 2 foot long condom at the fairground in Glasgow, he slings it over his shoulder and decides to buy some steak for his dinner on the way home. He walks into the butchers shop and says "A pound of Fillet"
Butcher replies "A tenner says you don't!"

[vtec]

Classic. The second joke was awesome. Took a while to click, but was worth the wait.

First one wasn't bad either. Keep them coming.

[McJim]

A woman goes for golf coaching lessons. The golf coach says "Okay, let's see what you've got, just hold the club and hit the ball."
She grips the handle inexpertly takes a dodgy swing and knocks the ball 6 inches off the tee. In a moment of inspiration the Instructor advises her "Adjust your grip, hold it as you would hold....er...your husband's erect member"
She adjusts her grip accordingly and swipes the ball 250 metres straight down the fairway
"Very good!" says the instructor "Now try that using your hands"