Wasted lives ?

[Waylander]

I wonder what Antallica and Jess are up to these days? The older crew will remember them.

[chanceyy]

guess it depends on weather the kids are planned or unplanned .. if both parties decide to have kids then good on them .. its a conscious choice to have them. Its the ones who deliberately get preggers to try and trap someone that pisses me off

I have freinds who got pregger @ 16 & 17 .. got married .. 3 kids .. worked hard and now late 30's and the kids are just about off their hands .. was it easy? no they both said they could have walked many a time but they made a committment & with kids that was not an option. Never seen a more together couple (good on them)

then others who have lived and now late 30's getting into the kids scene, they have done all the things they wanted to do .. now quite happy to settle down.

no way is right way or wrong way .. as long as the kids always remain important in their parents lives .. no matter if they stay together or split

[Colapop]

At 20 had my first and then another 4 years later. I spent time doing various things (work) getting fired, quitting until I got to about 30ish I think. It started to get a bit more serious then. I've been in my current J.O.B. (Just Over Broke - Amway term (not for me)) for 5 years I can actually say it's a career now. We're starting to get to break even. My kids are great - I couldn't ask for better, which is ironic coz I remember what I was like (for a long time into adulthood). My son is in the 1st 15 (in the 5th form @15). My daughter is a good netball player and they achieve very good results at school. My son went out on Saturday night and stayed out til 5:30am with his mates. Nope didn't approve of that but I trust him - he told me all about the whole night too.

Point is that it's no easy road, but there are good things that happen too. I'd never give my kids and missus up not for anything you could give me (not even a bike).

[mstriumph]

i do wish people-in-general would stop waving AGE around as though it was some kind of qualification or measure of a man/woman

........................... age ain't nothing but a number

[The_Dover]

........................... age ain't nothing but a number

lots of old people say that...

[Street Gerbil]

Young fella at work told me yesterday that his girlfriend is up the duff,he's stoked and looking forward to being a father---at 19yrs old--his girlfriend is 18.
He is unskilled and only has the job he has due to his girl being the boss's daughter.

Either they will separate within 6 months after she gives birth (IMO most likely) or they will be one big happy family for many years (unlikely but not impossible). Only time will tell. IN other words, they have the same choice as the rest of us: heaven or hell. Only their's will start awfully soon.

[Skyryder]

lots of old people say that...

There are no old people. Some are just younger than others.


Skyryder

[NinjaBoy]

Are you ever ready?

For once Dover finally says something sensible

[Motu]

I feel sorry for people who plan their lives - when to get married,plan their house,career paths....when to have children.The childrens lives planned,retirement planned.What a boring existance....no little surprises...no - ''hey,remember the time we.....''

I have 4 children,the oldest 25,the youngest 10,and I'm 52.All unplanned...and total commitment to their lives,all homebirthed and homeschooled.There will be no ''when the kids have grown up and left home'' for me,and I wouldn't have it any other way.

My 20 year old daughter is pregnant,she works 7 days a week in two jobs,does a night course and also works from home for a little extra money.Her fella has had some sort of nervous breakdown and been unable to work or claim assistance,but he is slowly coming right and started a new job.He is a great guy,multi talented and very capable of being employed - he just picked a bad time to crack up.We need to get them down here with us soon,even if they have to live with us,we are a strong Whanau,and her sister lives close by.They are not in a good position,it's going to be trying times and hard work for us all - but it's going to be great too,I'm looking forward to having her back close to us.She also has strong friends,lots of support there too.

But I'm happy it's her and not her older sister who is settled in a nice new house with her partner in a good job.My younger daughter is stronger mentaly and emotionaly,she's looking forward to being a mother,and I know she can do it.It's life,you give it your best shot....the more challenges,the richer the acomplishments.

[Shadows]

I reckon that's cool. In fact sometimes I feel like I left it a little late starting at 30. Good luck to them.

[Gremlin]

She reckoned you either had to have your kids really young, get 'em out the door and then get on with your life; or leave it as late as possible and do the living first.

ok, so I just turned 23... but those aren't the only options ya know... I might change my mind in a few years, but currently, I would hate having an ankle biter all together... cute as buttons... but someone else can have them thanks.

Unless I change my mind, or have a girl that wants a couple... I don't see them as necessary to life.

[mstriumph]

lots of old people say that...

lots of WISE people say that ...

[DingDong]

...He is unskilled...boss's daughter...

He cant be that unskilled, certainly got the job done and with the right girl
I say go hard young fulla... practice makes perfect

[placidfemme]

Young fella at work told me yesterday that his girlfriend is up the duff,he's stoked and looking forward to being a father---at 19yrs old--his girlfriend is 18.
He is unskilled and only has the job he has due to his girl being the boss's daughter.
He's a real nice bloke,but to commit to raiseing a child at that age to me seems fucken dumb,neither of them have"lived" to see what the big wide world has to offer and now they are tied down for 16 odd years.
I realise with the current system of handouts etc,they should survive,but what a way to waste your only crack at youth.
I never married till I was 27 and I had lived life to the max and was ready to settle down,in fact I changed my whole lifestyle to reflect that.
Your views ?

Just my opinion: It is a waste of thier youth. But it is their choice, and being so young, I don't believe they are fully aware of what they are getting into.

Someone commented that having kids young was normal once upon a time... and I was raised with everyone around me being married and having kids by about 22-ish

And for some people thats fine... but others it just ruins lives...

My sister got knocked up at 20, and its ruined her life. She loves her kids, but she also knows it was the stupidest thing shes ever done.