Dead bodies

[Beemer]

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the Coroner.

"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent
it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy- Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

"Thought he was having his picture taken."

[jrandom]

Any Scotsman worth his salt would would have spent his thousand pounds on whisky, not whiskey.

Only dodgy Irish sorts and Murrkns drink 'whiskey'.

[Beemer]

You'll note he died of alcohol poisoning - which wouldn't have happened if he'd been drinking Scotch whisky... maybe that's why we tried feeding Mac Bushmills...

[Hitcher]

Any Scotsman worth his salt would would have spent his thousand pounds on whisky, not whiskey.

Only dodgy Irish sorts and Murrkns drink 'whiskey'.

The BDOTGNZA salutes you. And reminds you that your sub is overdue...

[Beemer]

Hitcher, you won't want to visit Duffy and Finn's at Porirua then! One of their instore signs says that "whisky is a tasty yet tricky tipple, sometimes spelled with an 'e', sometimes without..."

It does slightly redeem itself by mentioning Irish whiskey though.

[McJim]

The important thing to remember is that "Whisky" is in fact a brand owned by Scottish Distillers. Sued the arse of a Japanese firm calling it's product Whisky a couple of decades ago.

Fickle people those Scots.