Starting point for negotiations:
Terrorists: We want you dead.
US: We want to live.
Negotiations begin:
US: We want to live.
How about if we offer to leave Iraq? Will you let us live then?
Terrorists: No. We wanted you dead long before you went into Iraq. Have you forgotten about the Iranian Embassy in 1979, the Beirut Lebanon Embassy (and the Marine Barracks) in 1983, Pan Am 103 in 1988, the World Trade Center in 1993 and 2001, the Khobar Towers in 1996, the US Embassies in Kenya and Tanzania in 1998, the USS Cole in 2000, and the Pentagon in 2001? You think this is only about Iraq?
U.S.: How about if, instead of stealing your oil, we pay you $70 a barrel for it?
Terrorists: No. You are already doing that.
US: What if we also give you billions of dollars?
Terrorist: No. You already do that, too.
US: What if we agree to live peacefully with you and let you run your own affairs, choose your own leaders, social rules, etc. You can kill political prisoners and non-Muslims. You can subjugate women, and we won't interfere.
Terorists: No. You already let us do those things
US: How about if we promise to send you help for any natural disasters or disease outbreaks? At no charge?
Terrorists: No. You already do that. Offer something new.
US: What about if we give you nuclear and missile technology.
Terrorists: No. You already did that.
US: You are tough negotiators. All right, what if we let you kill all our Republicans and Joe Lieberman. Then will you let us live?
Terrorists: No. We want you all dead.
US: Ok, what if we throw in Israel and all the Christians, too?
Terrorists: No. All the infidels must die.
US: All right, our final offer: what if we agree to convert to Islam. We'll make all our women cover themselves from head to foot and not let them drive or vote. Then can we live?
Terrorists: What about alcohol, pornography, abortion, nude dancing , free speech and capitalism?
US: We'll gladly give up capitalism, but we really need the other things.
Terrorists: That is not compromise. You are refusing to negotiate.
US: All right. We'll give up alcohol, pornography, abortion, and nude dancing and free speech too if we have to. Now will you let us live?
Terrorists: That's tempting, but it's not enough. You must die.
US: There must be something we can offer that you will accept in exchange for letting us live.
Terrorists: Our best offer is we want you all dead. We are, of course, willing to listen to your ideas.
Islam is after all, a religion of peace
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Originally Posted by Street Gerbil
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