Calling all male KB members

[Blackbird]

I suppose every other male on this site has copped similar grief from their partners…..

I used to be regularly accused of not listening to my wife, particularly whilst I was reading. This was cured a few years back by her reacting to silence behind the newspaper by tearing it out of my hands and arriving in my lap slapping and biting.

Although I have been very good in recent years, I lapsed the night before last by failing to listen to what she was saying because I had my head stuck in a superb book (Gerald Seymour, “Rat Run” if you wish to live dangerously). This caused a large dollop of the silent treatment (which I was slow to pick up on due to my head being in aforesaid book) and this of course made matters significantly worse by the time the penny dropped. Having legs on my belly as far as Mrs B is concerned, I stopped off on the way home from work last night and picked up a bunch of flowers. The presentation of flowers caused much merriment from Mrs B because she had mentally forgiven me before we turned in the previous evening but naturally, I was not informed of this decision and left to squirm.

By way of confession, I didn’t think that the transgression was at the serious end of the notoriously fickle Partner Offending Scale, so simply stopped off at the Chinese fruiterers in town to pick up a modestly-priced bunch of flowers (ok, cheap!) but they have discontinued selling them. I was somewhat alarmed about the prospect of having to visit the local florist and maxing out the credit card but the local supermarket came to my rescue. Mrs B does not need to know this of course as harmony reigns again in the Blackbird household.

The saying "There are 2 ways to treat a woman - both are wrong", is one of the great observations in life.

Sigh…..

[The_Dover]

I treat my woman and if she's really lucky i'll let her give me a blow job.

[RantyDave]

"There are 2 ways to treat a woman - both are wrong"

LOL!

Dave

[McJim]

I find I have to make concessions to be allowed out on KB rides.

This involves gardening, cooking, dishes, changing nappies, bathing the offspring, washing cars, taking her to the local car park to practice on the bike, listening, putting the seat down on the toilet, clearing the dishes, wiping tables.....etc.

I do not make the mistake of missing a single word she says...that way lies madness and you are a brave man for doing that...although foolish.

Looking forward to the wee run tomorrow with Maverick and the 250 gang.

[Lissa]

*tongue in cheek* See the major problem with men is that you can't multi-task. Women of course can vacum, cook dinner, talk on the phone, and scream at the kids at the same time. Men (and clearly blackbird) have to have full concentration to really Listen and hear their partners . I am glad you learnt your lesson Blackbird It can take some men years and years to figure out what you just did *throws him a chocolate medal*. Anyway don't worry about the flowers being cheap... it really is the thought that counts.

Looking forward to the wee run tomorrow with Maverick and the 250 gang

Are those done in Wellington as well?

[Blackbird]

[QUOTE=Lissa;761844] I am glad you learnt your lesson Blackbird It can take some men years and years to figure out what you just did *throws him a chocolate medal*. Anyway don't worry about the flowers being cheap... it really is the thought that counts.
[QUOTE]
I only did the touchy-feely bit because I am master in my own household and a bit of occasional humility does not go amiss. Yeah, right....

And multi-tasking is simply a euphemism for making a half-arsed job of a whole load of things at once

[riffer]

See the major problem with men is that you can't multi-task.

yet another naive female falls for that old line... still, its working for us – why should we tell you the truth?

Even my wife can't understand how I can manage forty different things at a time at work, yet can only concentrate on one at home...

[inlinefour]

I suppose every other male on this site has copped similar grief from their partners…..

I used to be regularly accused of not listening to my wife, particularly whilst I was reading. This was cured a few years back by her reacting to silence behind the newspaper by tearing it out of my hands and arriving in my lap slapping and biting.

Although I have been very good in recent years, I lapsed the night before last by failing to listen to what she was saying because I had my head stuck in a superb book (Gerald Seymour, “Rat Run” if you wish to live dangerously). This caused a large dollop of the silent treatment (which I was slow to pick up on due to my head being in aforesaid book) and this of course made matters significantly worse by the time the penny dropped. Having legs on my belly as far as Mrs B is concerned, I stopped off on the way home from work last night and picked up a bunch of flowers. The presentation of flowers caused much merriment from Mrs B because she had mentally forgiven me before we turned in the previous evening but naturally, I was not informed of this decision and left to squirm.

By way of confession, I didn’t think that the transgression was at the serious end of the notoriously fickle Partner Offending Scale, so simply stopped off at the Chinese fruiterers in town to pick up a modestly-priced bunch of flowers (ok, cheap!) but they have discontinued selling them. I was somewhat alarmed about the prospect of having to visit the local florist and maxing out the credit card but the local supermarket came to my rescue. Mrs B does not need to know this of course as harmony reigns again in the Blackbird household.

The saying "There are 2 ways to treat a woman - both are wrong", is one of the great observations in life.

Sigh…..

With most things there is a right way and a wrong way, but with wimmin, its just their way. Kinda have the same problems at times, but I tend to say, did you bother getting my attention? You know I do not wait all the time for you to say something as I like to also do my own thing. If you want to talk to methen feel free, but do not get upset if you talk at me and don't get a reply.

I went for along time without any marital perks, but eventually she changed her mind and finally admitted that I had a point. I was lucky, because my next comment was to suggest that she goto a communication inservice to learn more about it. If I did, I suspect that not even flowers would have helped...

[placidfemme]

haha battle of the sexes... but I have to agree with blackbird on this one...

*is buying Sam dinner tonight cause I'm not doing what she wanted this weekend* (didn't wanna go up norf to see the in-laws)

[skelstar]

Are those done in Wellington as well?

Yes, Wednesday nights (there is a thread somewhere), and occasionally Wasp will organise a 250-style ride. Theres the Oct 1 ride of course.

[Blackbird]

I went for along time without any marital perks,

I am frequently hoarse from begging.

[SwanTiger]

My Girlfriend and I were sitting on the couch the other night and my girlfriend got shitty at me for some reason. I said "What is your problem?" to which she replied "Nothing" in that "Everything is my problem" tone. To which I unleashed the ultimate tactic, my response "Whatever, go cook me some fucken' eggs woman". The shock of that comment made her forget why she was in a grump - but wait theres more - she actually cooked me bacon and eggs on toast.

Blackbird, I think you need to adopt a new approach, woman are always evolving their tactics

[MSTRS:Me]

.... suggest that she goto a communication inservice to learn more about it. If I did, I suspect that not even flowers would have helped...

They would have....made your coffin look nice!!

[Lissa]

And multi-tasking is simply a euphemism for making a half-arsed job of a whole load of things at once

Oh I can see you still havent learnt your lesson.

yet another naive female falls for that old line... still, its working for us – why should we tell you the truth?

My correction then, "you lazy gits who choose not to multi-task at home!!!

Yes, Wednesday nights (there is a thread somewhere), and occasionally Wasp will organise a 250-style ride. Theres the Oct 1 ride of course.

Thanks for that Skel... I was thinking of more for the future when I actually get my bike and learners, although I could met you on Oct 1st on my push bike.. I am sure someone will give me a tow

My Girlfriend and I were sitting on the couch the other night and my girlfriend got shitty at me for some reason. I said "What is your problem?" to which she replied "Nothing"

Swantiger... nothing really means something!

btw if your girlfriend/partner asks "Do I look fat in these jeans" the answer is ALWAYS ... NO!!!!

[MSTRS:Me]

For Swantiger, least he go through life in (un)happy ignorance....
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over NOTHING and end up with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man.. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"