Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Buying a Fighter Jet?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    7th November 2004 - 11:00
    Bike
    Aquired by locals
    Location
    Groote Eylandt
    Posts
    6,606

    Buying a Fighter Jet?

    This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas web site by an employee there who obviously had a sense of humor. The company, of course, did not (have a sense of humor) - and made the web department take it down immediately.

    McDonnell Douglas Customer Survey
    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

    1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other

    First Name:............................................. ........
    Initial: ........
    Last Name:............................................. .........
    Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
    Code Name: .................................................. ....
    Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... ..........


    2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
    [_] F-14 Tomcat
    [_] F-15 Eagle
    [_] F-16 Falcon
    [_] F-117A Stealth
    [_] Classified


    3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... /....... /.......


    4. Serial Number:........................................... ......


    5. Please check where this product was purchased:
    [_] Received as gift / aid package
    [_] Catalog showroom
    [_] Independent arms broker
    [_] Mail order
    [_] Discount store
    [_] Government surplus
    [_] Classified


    6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
    [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
    [_] Store display
    [_] Espionage
    [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
    [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
    [_] Was attacked by one


    7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
    [_] Style / appearance
    [_] Speed / maneuverability
    [_] Price / value
    [_] Comfort / convenience
    [_] Kickback / bribe
    [_] Recommended by salesperson
    [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
    [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
    [_] Backroom politics
    [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat


    8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
    [_] North America
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Central / South America
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Aircraft carrier
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Europe
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Africa
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Asia / Far East
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Misc. Third World countries
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Classified
    [_] Iraq


    9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
    [_] Color TV
    [_] VCR
    [_] ICBM
    [_] Killer Satellite
    [_] CD Player
    [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
    [_] Space Shuttle
    [_] Home Computer
    [_] Nuclear Weapon


    10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply
    [_] Communist / Socialist
    [_] Terrorist
    [_] Crazed
    [_] Neutral
    [_] Democratic
    [_] Dictatorship
    [_] Corrupt
    [_] Primitive / Tribal


    11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
    [_] Deficit spending
    [_] Cash
    [_] Suitcases of cocaine
    [_] Oil revenues
    [_] Personal check
    [_] Credit card
    [_] Ransom money
    [_] Traveler's check


    12. Your occupation:
    [_] Homemaker
    [_] Sales / marketing
    [_] Revolutionary
    [_] Clerical
    [_] Mercenary
    [_] Tyrant
    [_] Middle management
    [_] Eccentric billionaire
    [_] Defense Minister / General
    [_] Retired
    [_] Student


    13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
    [_] Golf
    [_] Boating / sailing
    [_] Sabotage
    [_] Running / jogging
    [_] Propaganda / disinformation
    [_] Destabilization / overthrow
    [_] Default on loans
    [_] Gardening
    [_] Crafts
    [_] Black market / smuggling
    [_] Collectibles / collections
    [_] Watching sports on TV
    [_] Wines
    [_] Interrogation / torture
    [_] Household pets
    [_] Crushing rebellions
    [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
    [_] Fashion clothing
    [_] Border disputes
    [_] Mutually Assured Destruction

    Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

    As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!


    Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
    McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
    Marketing Department
    Military Aerospace Division
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  2. #2
    Join Date
    27th November 2003 - 12:00
    Bike
    None any more
    Location
    Ngaio, Wellington
    Posts
    13,111
    Tres classy.
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  3. #3
    Join Date
    16th November 2005 - 07:48
    Bike
    I just lost count
    Location
    The District of Waipa
    Posts
    3,607
    Great. I can see how the company might have been a little pissed off thou

  4. #4
    Join Date
    25th December 2003 - 20:57
    Bike
    None
    Location
    NZ
    Posts
    2,271
    McDonnell Douglas make F-14's? :\?

    -Indy
    Hey, kids! Captain Hero here with Getting Laid Tip 213 - The Backrub Buddy!

    Find a chick who’s just been dumped and comfort her by massaging her shoulders, and soon, she’ll be massaging your prostate.


  5. #5
    Join Date
    1st November 2005 - 08:18
    Bike
    F-117.
    Location
    Banana Republic of NZ
    Posts
    7,048
    I was going to say "repost" but I think out of professional courtesy I will refrain.... mainly because I think I'm confusing it with the one on my 'puter at home...!
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  6. #6
    Join Date
    9th February 2005 - 13:27
    Bike
    ...
    Location
    Van Morrison
    Posts
    2,699
    haha thats serious misconduct material
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  7. #7
    Join Date
    17th September 2004 - 21:20
    Bike
    Upgrading ^_^
    Location
    Boganville
    Posts
    335
    Quote Originally Posted by Indiana_Jones View Post
    McDonnell Douglas make F-14's? :\?

    -Indy
    An Exercise In Occam's Razor:

    Possibility Un: This material was written by an employee of McDonnell Douglas who manages to have almost zero knowledge of their company's production (Of the named aircraft, only one, the F-15 Eagle, is (was?) actually manufactured by MD. The F-117 is also incorrectly designated).

    Possibility Deux: The above was written by some funny soul on The Internet, probably in antiquity, and it has been floating round the net in various forms for years, by which time it usually picks up a line about it being 'real!' or 'authentic!', no matter what obvious evidence there is to the contrary, sustained by the common gullibility and suspension of disbelief so often encountered on said Internet.

    We Report, You Decide!
    Eat the riches! Eat your money! The revolution will be DELICIOUS!!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    1st November 2005 - 08:18
    Bike
    F-117.
    Location
    Banana Republic of NZ
    Posts
    7,048
    Quote Originally Posted by Jamezo View Post
    (Of the named aircraft, only one, the F-15 Eagle, is (was?) actually manufactured by MD. The F-117 is also incorrectly designated).
    Grumman F-14 Tomcat
    McD's F-15 Eagle
    General Dynamics F-16 Falcon
    Lockheed F-117 Nighthawk

    Who designated the -117 a fighter? - It's a bomber!
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  9. #9
    Join Date
    27th November 2003 - 12:00
    Bike
    None any more
    Location
    Ngaio, Wellington
    Posts
    13,111
    Quote Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
    Who designated the -117 a fighter? - It's a bomber!
    A defenseless bomber to boot. It is totally dependent on its stealth for survival.
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  10. #10
    Join Date
    7th November 2004 - 11:00
    Bike
    Aquired by locals
    Location
    Groote Eylandt
    Posts
    6,606
    Fuck and I thought I needed to get out and get a life
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  11. #11
    Join Date
    2nd April 2005 - 11:58
    Bike
    .
    Location
    .
    Posts
    5,095
    Can I have a pink one? (My daughters birthday is coming up)
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  12. #12
    Join Date
    17th January 2006 - 19:49
    Bike
    09 Bonneville, 79 SR500
    Location
    Christchurch
    Posts
    1,792
    Quote Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
    Who designated the -117 a fighter? - It's a bomber!
    That was a PR snowjob done by the USAF to attract pilots. They wanted to attract Fighter pilots and Attack pilots to fly the thing, but knew that no fighter pilot would be seen dead flying a bomber so they couldn't give it its correct B designation. Hence F117 was decided on to attract the fighter and attack jocks. I got this from the History channel.
    The views expressed above may not match yours - But that's the reason my Dad went to war - wasn't it?
    Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, .... but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out,... shouting "man, what a ride"!!!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    27th November 2003 - 12:00
    Bike
    None any more
    Location
    Ngaio, Wellington
    Posts
    13,111
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  14. #14
    Join Date
    29th October 2005 - 16:12
    Bike
    Had a 2007 Suzuki C50T Boulevard
    Location
    Orewa
    Posts
    5,852
    Pedantic bunch aren't we...?
    You don't get to be an old dog without learning a few tricks.
    Shorai Powersports batteries are very trick!

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •