Major Earthquake in Otara!!!

**_Gina_** · 18th September 2006, 14:02

A major earthquake, measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit in the early hours of Monday morning in Otara, Auckland.

News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35000 unrestrained unchipped pitbulls and victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "orsum bro".

The earthquake decimated the town, causing $30 worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from McDonalds and the Otahuhu Station car park were damaged beyond repair.

Three acres of historical burnt out cars were disturbed, along with countless supermarket shopping trolleys that had been artistically displayed around the area.

Many locals were woken well before their DPB arrived. Radio Manukau reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that the rumble wasn't wearing colours.

One resident, a 15 year old mother of three, said "Orsum! I was still shaking when I was watching Oprah the next day, aye."

Locals were determined to carry on business as usual and muggings, bashings, dealing and the recreational "motorway overpass shot put" still took place.

So far the Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 cartons of Lion Red and 50kg of P to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals.

CAN YOU HELP??????

Please respond generously to our appeal for food, clothing and other necessary items for the victims of this disaster.

Clothing is needed most of all - especially:
*Baseball caps (peaks attached to either back or side)
*Hoodies
*Tracksuit tops (his or hers)
*White sport socks
*Nike shoes or white gumboots

Also
*Cans of spray paint
*Baseball bats
*Machettes

Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your efforts will make a difference.
*KFC, baked beans, chippies, ice cream and cans of Mountain Dew or Coke are ideal.
**Please do not give anything that needs peeling.

Remember:
*45 cents buys a bic clic ballpoint for filling in compo forms
*$8 buys chips, chicken nuggets and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9
*$10 will pay for a packet of Rothmans and a lighter to calm a child's nerves.

Urgently required: tinned dog food for pitbulls.

**placidfemme** · 18th September 2006, 14:10

peow peow was dat wat dat big noise was bro?

**JimO** · 18th September 2006, 14:22

dont worry a plane load of bogans has left Dunedin to assist with the looting

**Beemer** · 18th September 2006, 15:19

Choice bro!

**Hillbilly** · 19th September 2006, 00:57

Looink? Wot for you say dis lootink? We no do some lootink up here! It's dose bloody Palangis, aye! Dey always try to pick on us peecos we work hart at makink Otara a good plash wif lots of kood peepols.