One for all you evil bastards out there

**PZR** · 24th June 2004, 12:24

Cmon guys the man wants some serious mayhem! Helicopters indeed?

Spray bomb "CHILD MOLESTER LIVES HERE" (or words to that effect) outside their house.
Depending on their race how about bombing "We hate (Insert choice here......) whites, blacks, browns, yellows. You get the idea.
Or a sign which advertises the local UK version ofthe Klu Klux Clan (Labour Party isnt it?)
Make a long stick that will hold an aerosol so you can use the spray from the bottom of the stick (this assumes its a common 2 story house) and then paint all their windows black late one night.

Have the gas turned off (disconnected)

Poms have lots of funny council laws, look into some of those

They also have lots of laws about squatters rights, maybe something useful there.

Advertise their phone number in a phone box/local shop as a number for (again your choices) prostitute, adult baby fun times, gay, lesbian, S&M or all the above

Poison their plants/grass/trees

Drop dirty oil on their clean driveway

Put lots of bird seed on their house/car roofs

Harder to do but block the chimeny

Superglue their locks car/house/windows

Kill their cat/dog/hampster/children/mother in law (forget the last one they may thank you for that

Hang slaughtered animals (see above) with intestines dangling from their house somewhere

Rape the children and kill all the women and behead the men
OOOps sorry getting carried away there, but hey, the world is your oyster to fuck with. Have fun

"I think my chip is getting bigger" he mumbles to himself
Shouting out loud!!!!"Mabel lock me in again tonight its a full moon!!!"

**duckman** · 24th June 2004, 12:27

Dump 3 litre bottles of Isopropol alcohol and a dozen assorted glass chemistry vessels in their garage and call the cops complaining about the chemical stench coming from your neighbours house.

"P" party - here we come!!!

**Omega1** · 24th June 2004, 12:34

Get their phone number and place an add in the trade & exchange

"Free piano to a good home please ph......."

**Dr Bob** · 24th June 2004, 12:53

Well that's different, sorry for not being more sensitive to your address before.

Most of us won't have a clue as to the rules over there for what constitutes bad neighbourly behaviour, over here there are far fewer attached houses (called apartments, or town houses) and a much higher incidence of space between neighbours.

Is it semi detached, terraced, or a bungalow?

Do you have a decent backgarden, front garden etc. give us a picture {words will do}.

**750Y** · 24th June 2004, 14:46

need more information about the setup first.
just a question but why don't you move? you have no clue who's gonna replace them after you finally get them out anyway & who wants to live like that? life is too short to worry about that crap, move on and breathe some fresh air, sounds like you could do with it. And don't go all stubborn and try making a pitiful stand in suburbia ,look at the big picture. not trying to be rude moreso trying to motivate you out of a bad situation and let you take the opportunity to make things better. turn the page, let it go or you will wake up one day all bitter & twisted old man wingeing about the neighbours again and think to yourself hmmm i've gone nowhere. anyway enough from me, what would i know 8-(

**RiderInBlack** · 24th June 2004, 17:29

Originally Posted by 750Y

let it go or you will wake up one day all bitter & twisted old man wingeing about the neighbours again and think to yourself hmmm i've gone nowhere

You'll turn in to an old wingeing POM

, like Mr Meldrews in "One Foot In The Grave"

Just what England needs

**moko** · 24th June 2004, 17:57

Thanks for input so far.The really interesting bit is that I live in a block of 8 flats,1 of these people is actually my next-door-neighbour,another on the floor below.All "the accused" are already very wary and creeping around trying to avoid me.No chance I`ll get bitter and twisted,I look on sorting out arseholes as sport pure and simple.Basically they`re an elected commitee that run the finances of the flats(40 in all)there was some dodgy stuff going on with an electrical contract,I asked questions which by law they`re supposed to answer,they`ve just lied to my mortgage provider to try and get the money they reckon I should pay,causing me all kinds of hassle in the process.All along I`ve stated that if they show me proof that they went about this contract in a legal manner I`ll pay up immiedietely,proof they should have by law,and should show me by law.The latest little stunt was just one too far,these heroes other claims to fame include throwing some old ladies property into the bins and ripping down a bird-table that a disabled woman put up outside her window for something to look at.I`ll beat them with the legal bit as Brit law grinds it`s way to completion but they`ve really F***ed me off and I want to make their bastard lives as miserable as possible.They`re all spineless shits and as Wari will tell you I`m less than beautiful in a good mood,let alone at full scream,prefer the subtle approach though.Nice work people,plenty of food for thought to be getting on with.

**Big Dog** · 24th June 2004, 18:05

I would stay away from leaving DNA if you would be a natural suspect.

Sugar works quicker but a pound of salt in a tank is irreperable, and about 6 months out, just so long as you don't change your mind before then eh.

First the fuel pump or guage then the other, then the injectors or rings. then pistons etc. I'm told once started it never stopps and the repair bills just get worse.

The ping pong ball was made famous by csi but shool kids have been doing it for years. Drop it in the tank, whenever the gas gets below half the suction pulls down the ball over the intake. It stalls the car, but starts again straight away as the suction is broken. The next time the ball passes over the vortex again it stops again.

Fish guts in the chassis rails are another school boy fav.

Adjust the handbrake so itis always on.

Call the council every time their dog barks.

From a pay phone give an anonymous tip about a "heroin shipment", ending in the words 'I saw him swallow 12 condoms'.

Feed their cat....1 Slowly add asparagus. It makes them incontinent, with really awful odour. Will regain continence after you stop feeding it.
2 better food than they do... so it won't touch the cheap stuff any more.

Feed their dog 1 lots of high energy food so it needs walking more.
2 feed him better than his master so that he hangs around by your side of the yard instead of masters house at meal times.

**Big Dog** · 24th June 2004, 18:16

Originally Posted by moko

I live in a block of 8 flats.

And you want 5 of them to move out? If you start the bully stuff, I'd sleep with one eye open..... Mate i'd be looking to make one of them at a time your best mate until you control the balance of power.... Has reality tv taught you nothing man? You don't have to like them, or even not hate them... just let them think you like them.

**Jackrat** · 24th June 2004, 18:28

Do they own their house??
If so dump a bag of quick setting cement down their drains.
If you can access it and it has the type,unplug the pipe to the toilet where it comes out the wall and dump a bag down that fucker to.#2 Put an add in your local paper selling a mint restored 73 Triumph bonnieville for $1000.Apply in person to Blah Blah this Saturday morning,No scumbag Head Hunter type gang members need apply.#3 Get an old pair of sand shoes, tye the laces togeather and throw them over the power lines out side their place.
#4 Get some fertiliser and write "sex offender lives here" on grass outside the place.I got a few more but you don't want any grief from the law right!!!

Oh shit I just realised you live in the UK,better change that bike gang to Satens slaves or sumint.I guess the sand shoes won't work there either.Bugger!!!

**Big Dog** · 24th June 2004, 18:36

Originally Posted by moko

another on the floor below

I assume you have a bath?

"fall asleep" in it at 3am several days in a row.
With the tap running of course.

**Big Dog** · 24th June 2004, 18:38

assuming they have external gas water heating like most units here, put out their pilot lights on really cold mornings.

**Skyryder** · 25th June 2004, 20:01

Motu I know you do not want the leave alone and forget it bit but the road you are contemplating is a long and difficult one that may result in you being more pissed off than you are now. At this stage I get the feeling that you are on your own. Taking on numerical superiority on your own may not be the way to go. If you want to go down this road find some allies and go the legal way. Most of the 'ideas' that have been floated have involved some degree of dishonesty and if your computer is seized (for wahtever reason) you may find your self back in Godzown sooner than expected. You mentioned something about the finances if there is fraud involved that may be the way to go. Will that get rid of them???????? I can not answer that but I doubt it considering that there may not be very large sums of money involved. Whenever I get myself into situations that require a simular response I ask myself two questions

Am I right

Can I win.

If yes to both I go for it. If no to just one then I walk away.

Just think very carefully to what you are going to do.

Skyryder