What should you do if there is an intruder in your home?

[Maverick]

*...

( i collect Medieval swords..........)

Really? Real ones or Replicas? I used to do a lot of medieval stunt fighting myself

[SARGE]

Really? Real ones or Replicas? I used to do a lot of medieval stunt fighting myself

i was a member of the SCA back in the States when i was in Uni..
we used to do Ren-faires every year...


couldnt afford the antique real ones but the ones i have are NOT decorative and a few of them have accidentally slipped down the wall and fallen on a whetstone..

nothing like being suprised by a naked 120 kg crazy man weilding a battle axe to fuck up your P buzz

[McJim]

I play golf. I keep a spare putter in my bedroom - it has an oversized head.

How can the cops arrest me for attacking this guy if he never gets found and never has the chance to tell anyone? They would surely have to know a crime had been commited first.....

[Finn]

You can't live in fear and the chances of a home invasion are very slim but possible.

However, if this really concerns you, first you need to develop at tactical strategy should this event take place. Given NZ's criminals are the victim mentality, your options are limited.

1) First off preventive measures are key - security.
2) If security is compromised, what is the threat? How many & do they have weapons?
3) Given not many NZ households carry weapons, you need to develop and exit strategy which may be difficult if you have a family spread throughout the house. Act fast.
4) Always have your mobile beside your bed and call the cops straight away. Sometimes writing tickets can be a bit boring and they long for a bit of action. Use your mobile just in case you need to hide when calling the cops. The first thing you need to provide the police is your address as they don't have that info from mobiles. Speak clearly and try not to get emotional. If you're caught by the intruders try and conceal the phone with in still connected.
5) If you're confronted and not trained in arm to arm combat, you don't have any weapons and you don't think you can take them on then you need to submit and provide the intruders with a reward of some sort. Have your car keys ready and some cash. (this is what they do in Brasil). You need to co-operate.
6) If it turns violent, don't be afraid to use your wife or girlfriend during confrontation. Tell her one of the intruders called her fat. You'll be surprised at the results.

Remember if you do have weapons and feel you and your family are at real risk of violence then use them but don't fuck around. Go postal. You need to show them that you are crazier than they are.

I don't think any jury on the island will convict you. However, the police and justice system will put you through the process which could cost you a lot of money and time.

[The_Dover]

I'll let Vicky sort them out.

[Finn]

I'll let Vicky sort them out.

See point 6.

[McJim]

I'll let Vicky sort them out.

You're too fuggen cruel man!

[placidfemme]

That is a hard question, and I think Finn has given one of the best answers yet (yay Finn!)

So different to back in Zim... Just kill them... no problems. But in NZ the crims have more rights than the victim.

I have no idea what I'd do if someone broke into our place...

[Drunken Monkey]

Really? Real ones or Replicas? I used to do a lot of medieval stunt fighting myself

Replicas can still be functional, it's decorative pieces you have to be wary of. The look on people's faces when the sharp bit flies off during a bout of silly buggers and they're left with a rat-tail in their hands - classic.

Cold steel do some reasonable quality functional cutters from various different eras and cultures.

[Fishy]

I've been in this situation a couple of times.

Once when I was living in a double garage converted to a large bedroom and I heard someone walking around the outside and then the door started handle going. I quietly got up out of bed and grabbed my hatchet which is always located under my bed, I went up to the door they were trying and opened it up real fast and shouted COME ON MOTHER F*CKERS!!! there were 2 of them both maori's, they absolutely shit themselves and ran like bitches so I chased them for a while down the street. Never saw them again.

Another time I was in the kitchen at my old house and could hear some noises outside (Which is where a mate of mine has his very highly modded car parked). I grabbed my ali baseball bat and turned the ouside light on and run out towards the car. There were 3 guys running towards the back fence so again at the top of my lungs shouted some kind words and ran towards them, the first two had made it over the fence and the last one was nearing the top of it. I threw the bat at the guy and it hit him in the back and knocked him off the fence over the other side. They all ran like bitches shouting shit out as they were running away.

Now I have guns instead, although I do still like my bat and hatchet and also have a full sized axe which I would one day use if I have the chance. If anyone comes onto my property and thinks they are gonna get away with it they can think again. I will not hesitate to shoot anyone who threatens or endangers my or my family. The bullets will drop them and then I will feed them to the pigs.

[Maverick]

At last count I had,
1 x Carbon Steel longsword
1 x Carbon Steel Bastard sword
1 x 6ft Bullwhip
1 x 10ft Bullwhip
1 x Pair of Sai
1 x 7" Hunting knife
1 x Bokken
1 x Air rifle
1 x Hanbo

Oh the choices....

[McJim]

endangers my or my family. The bullets will drop them and then I will feed them to the pigs.

Someone been watching Snatch?

Oi Brick Top!

If I get into that situation will PM you to borrow said pigs for the clean up - cheers.

[outlawtorn]

if there is only one of them you kick shit out of him, you really fuck him up badly, and I mean badly, this bastard will have to learn a hard lesson, no doubt you'll a few bruises and scrapes in the process, but the goal would to knock the person out, then go to the kitchen, get a big ass knife and put it in his hands, make sure he puts his prints all over it, go so far as to even cut yourself on your arms somewhere.

Who will the cops believe?

[Fishy]

Someone been watching Snatch?

Oi Brick Top!

If I get into that situation will PM you to borrow said pigs for the clean up - cheers.

Snatch?

Pigs eat everything except teeth. For that I have an offel hole.

[Lias]

Shoot / bash / stab / smash the bastard.

Wait and see if anyone noticed.. Was there yelling and screaming? If there was call the cops and deal with the fallout, if there wasnt just bury the fucker.