Packin' the sads

[gijoe1313]

Ahh sorry to hear about your dog, our families been through two already (both died of old age - one had to be put down, the other we found lying peacefully on the grass near his favourite spot ). Both buried on family property so they remain close.

One was a golden Labrador (Wong), the other a real mutt - crossbreed between a german sherperd and ... something else! (Lucky). Was a few years but now my younger brother has gotten the next family dog (Oxford) a Samoyed.

Its sad to hear when your pet (who is like another family member) goes to that great kennel in the sky, but at least you knew him for the time you had each other.

IF I SHOULD GROW FRAIL

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain does keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done
For this - the last battle - can't be won.

You will be sad I understand
But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For on this day, more than the rest
Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.

Take me to where my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end.
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don't grieve that it must now be you
Who has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close - we two- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

(author unknown)

Bugger. I was meant to cheer you up!

[Big Dave]

Ahh sorry to hear about your dog, our families been through two already (both died of old age - one had to be put down, the other we found lying peacefully on the grass near his favourite spot ). Both buried on family property so they remain close.

One was a golden Labrador (Wong), the other a real mutt - crossbreed between a german sherperd and ... something else! (Lucky). Was a few years but now my younger brother has gotten the next family dog (Oxford) a Samoyed.

Its sad to hear when your pet (who is like another family member) goes to that great kennel in the sky, but at least you knew him for the time you had each other.

IF I SHOULD GROW FRAIL

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain does keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done
For this - the last battle - can't be won.

You will be sad I understand
But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For on this day, more than the rest
Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.

Take me to where my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end.
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don't grieve that it must now be you
Who has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close - we two- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

(author unknown)

Bugger. I was meant to cheer you up!

Pretty good anyway.
He didn't have much trouble sleepin' - it was the stairs that had him f***ed. Couldn't see 'em any more.

[andrea]

hey sorry to hear bout ur doggy buddy, umm lets see if i can find acouple jokes for ya

Beware.doc

[andrea]

this is an old one

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me
>>Elmo toys.
>>The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is
>>hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first
>>day promptly at 8:00 AM.
>>The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's
>>door.
>>The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new
>>employee.
>>He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is
>>backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
>>The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so
>>the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
>>When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle
>>Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning
>>to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by
>>mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
>>She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
>>The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric,
>>wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little
>>package between Elmo's legs.
>>The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
>>After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and
>>approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep
>>a straight face,
>>"but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you
>>yesterday..."
>>"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
>>
>

[andrea]

A beautiful young Auckland woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the sailor. "Look, I'm off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection. "What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Europe. Plus he's screwing me."

"He certainly is,” replied the captain. "This is the Devonport Ferry."

[andrea]

hmm this one is abit dry but its ok i guess

A man in a taxi taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves
onto the sidewalk before stopping just inches from a lamppost.

After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says "I'm
sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me!"

"Sorry. I didn't realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you
out so much," the passenger says.

"It's not your fault," replies the cabbie. "Today is my first day on the
job after 25 years of driving a hearse."

[andrea]

Dear Diary, Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double pane energy efficient kinds.

But today I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them.
Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told ME last year...namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo? It's been a year! There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up... He didn't call back. Guess I won that stupid argument.

[andrea]

k i hope the jokes weren't that bad weather sux and i might take off on another cruise um i think

[98tls]

sorry for your loss BD....time heals all mate and he will always hold a place in your heart eh...alot of people dont get another for awhile but when my old fella died i came across another pretty quick and it worked for me...nothing like a dopey puppy bouncing around to cheer you up.....

[SuperDave]

Sorry to hear that man.

[SwanTiger]

Bugger Dave. We're (well really my GF, after my constant nagging) getting rid of (selling) two pomeranians if you want a new dog! Right up your alley

[Beemer]

We're going to have to do that for the husband's old cat soon - he is about 15 and although he still wanders for miles over the neighbouring farmland, he is getting very thin and hardly eats anything now. He wheezes terribly too, sounds like an old man with emphysema at times! Just when we think "yes, he's about to kark it", he comes in all spry and happy!

Animals, where would we be without them? Sorry to hear of your loss, and get a new one when you feel like it - not that you ever forget the old ones.

[Beemer]

Bugger Dave. We're (well really my GF, after my constant nagging) getting rid of (selling) two pomeranians if you want a new dog! Right up your alley

Ooh, I should think that the last thing Dave needs right now is a little yapping thing up his alley... oo err!

[Al]

Sorry to hear about your mate, Dave, our move to NZ and now to OZ has made us have the following rules: NO POOL, NO PETS, NO GARDEN... Helps when we want to go away for a weekend!
We are now owners of 40 acres of NT farm.... dunno 'bout animals now...?

Al

[Mooch]

We had our dog put down today. His eyes had gone and so had his hips and it was time - but I miss the old shitbag hassling me for my apple core right now.
Someone tell me a good joke.

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