Would you sell your bike for an engagement ring or a wedding?

[F5 Dave]

I saw an add last night claiming the reason for sale was as such.

Ok this is just a sly lead-in so I can ask a question

Now the girl has been making all sorts of noises & I’ve been consoling her a bit to shut her up while I ease myself into the whole idea. No I’m not intending to sell even one of my bikes (one for every day & a spare), but well, at some time, I guess, I might, make her, you know, an honest woman.

Every time we have a few drinks she becomes a bit more blatant & of late has started to talk about engagement rings. She says she doesn’t want a solitaire (whatever that is?) But something a bit more funky probably with a lesser cut of Diamond. Well she is the frugal type so I thinks.

Anyway yesterday she winds up visiting this manufacturing jeweller & says she’s found the ring she wants! ‘Course it’s the thick end of 5K!

I mean I haven’t even asked her to marry me yet, Sheesh!

So what do you guys think is a reasonable amount of money for one of these dam things?? I mean I’m not broke or anything but it still seems like such a waste. I bought my touring bike for that much.

Yes she will have it for the rest of her life (hopefully) & she says maybe we should talk about how much she should put in, but is that a loaded question or what? You can just see her complaining to her friends in 10 yrs time, - he’s so tight he made me buy my own ring.

[James Deuce]

There's compromise and then there's the "I'll change him" approach.

If you have to sell so much as a front axle she's trying the "change" thing on.

In the long run it just doesn't matter. So long as both of you accept each other for who you are you'll be sweet.

I would suggest that if you sold a bike of your own recognisance, that would be heartfelt compromise, and an excellent measure of your feeling for the lass in question.

If you get badgered into it, you are in trouble brother.

[Quasievil]

Well I say NO WAY !!! be true to yourself man, if you like your bikes then why should you give them up ?? I got rid of my bike 10 years ago for the slang that I divorced in the end, and the whole time I was married I regreted it ALOT, I made murmurs of getting another one but she would not allow it. You are a complete package ,complete with bikes so stay treu mate.
If you aint got 5k you aint got 5k and she cant have the ring, end of story.
At worst chuck the ring on finance and keep your bikes

[White trash]

I sold my engagement ring to get a bike.

Trash to the core.

[menace]

So what do you guys think is a reasonable amount of money for one of these dam things?? I mean I’m not broke or anything but it still seems like such a waste. I bought my touring bike for that much.

Yes she will have it for the rest of her life (hopefully) & she says maybe we should talk about how much she should put in, but is that a loaded question or what? You can just see her complaining to her friends in 10 yrs time, - he’s so tight he made me buy my own ring.

Man i think thats way overpriced for an engagment ring... but than again what do i know... im only 22 and have no idea how much those things cost... :S

[jrandom]

The brainwashing created by the artificially-inflated diamond industry has stated for some time that a man should spend two months' wages on a ring for his beloved. Take that as a guideline if you must.

Personally, I would find it a little, well, *bothering*, if I was unmarried and receiving those hints from a girlfriend. A woman who sat down with me and initiated a reasonable discussion on the subject, as I would do with her, would impress me a hell of a lot more than someone who just started dropping hints whenever she got tipsy. But then, I do have difficulty with women who aren't capable of at least *pretending* to be rational beings.

Of course, she's probably labouring under some manufactured romantic delusion that everything can't possibly be perfect unless you (insert dreamy sigh) go down on bended knee and (surprise!) present her with said enormous ring. So I will suppress my instinctive cynicism in reaction to your description of her and advise that if she's the woman you're in love with, then buy whatever makes her happy (with your own money, sell a bike or whatever you have to if necessary) and marry her pronto.

[Motoracer]

I would suggest that if you sold a bike of your own recognisance, that would be heartfelt compromise, and an excellent measure of your feeling for the lass in question.

If you get badgered into it, you are in trouble brother.

Right on!

[jrandom]

If you aint got 5k you aint got 5k and she cant have the ring, end of story.

Yeah. You got it.

There *is* the point that any woman that would nag a man to buy something he can't afford is pure poison and shouldn't be touched with a ten-foot barge pole. She'll spend the rest of their life together playing on his insecurities and natural protective instincts to get precisely what she wants without regard to his wellbeing. He'll end up fat, bald and fifty, staring into the bottom of a glass of cheap whisky after she finally divorces him because he didn't "complete her", wondering where his life went.

[Ms Piggy]

No WAY!! I'd never sell a bike for a ring or expect a man to do that for me...well I don't believe in marriage anyway so it's all good for me anyway

As far as the amount that should be spent...hmmmm, tricky one really. Maybe go round to a few jewellery shops on your own & ask them what would be a realistic amount. It dpends what she wants. In the case of rings...more is better - unfortunately!

[vifferman]

First off, jewellery is a bad investment - hyped up prices, despite what jewellers would try to make you believe.
Secondly, this relationship may not work out if she's pushing it and you're not sure yet. Having said that, my partner of 26-odd years (married for nearly 22) and best friend initially pushed me a bit with the marriage thing, until I thought through my feelings, fears, expectations, etc., and decided it was a Good Thing.
I haven't regretted it. Now having kids - that's another thing altogether....
I think honesty is a very important basis for a relationship, and I think it'd be a good idea to sit down and tell her what you think about the whole getting married deal. It sounds as though you are not averse to the idea, but timing etc. is important. As is her understanding the importance of bikes in your life. I'd sell my bike if it came to a choice between bikes and her, and I've told my wife that, but she also knows (now, after a few battles) that bikes are part of who I am.

Unless you're toldlessly wealthy, $5K is way over the top for a ring. I like buying my wife jewellery, but I don't think that all the jewellery I've ever bought her would be worth that much! I do regret that the engagement ring WE picked was a bit on the small and inexpensive side, but my wife loved it (and still does), I had to cash in an insurance policy to pay for it (I was at uni at the time), and its insignificance has since been augmented by some complementary rings, so it's no big deal.

[jrandom]

Yeah, the price isn't excessive (although it is inflated, but then you won't get a diamond that isn't). Any less than that and she *will* have friends with better rings. Which is approximately equivalent to you having friends with bigger penises.

[Paul in NZ]

Ok.. I'll have a go at this one...

I sold (amoung other things) a Rickman Metisse' moto crosser to buy Vickis engagement ring. At the time the rickman was in big bits (ok ok I blew it up chasing TM250's) and was not worth much but was always going to be super collectable and I knew I would never ever find or afford another one. However, we were broke (just finished OE) and desperately in love...

It's not the biggest rock ever bought by man but remember that the whole ring thing is a symbol and Vicki knows what it cost me.

24 years later I still wake up next to the most beautiful woman in the world that seems to get sexier and more beautiful every day. Did I get a bargain or what?? It was the best investment I ever made in my life.

OK. Having dated myself as old to ancient..

It didn't take long to get a return either.. We had years of renovating old houses and stuff that consumed all our spare money and I was reduced to a $75 Suzuki TS250 for a while. Then one day, while we were hauling the last load of crap to the dunp, I saw a 1970 Triumph TR6C for sale outside a shop. I told Vicki, after we buy the carpet for the house, I want a bike like that one. On the way home, Vicki drove (which was something she rarely did) and stopped outside the shop. Go find out how much it is she told me. It was exactly the amount we had saved for carpet.

Buy it she said. I can wait for carpet a bit longer and you have waited long enough.. I don't think I ever loved her more for that!!!

I'll tell you! I worked my arse off to save the money for that carpet!

I still have that bike, I'll never sell it!

I never look on our relationship as a finshed investment, it's a continual work in progress. I have many mates who's relationships never lasted the course (hey, I'm not taking mine for granted either or being smug here..). But I ask you this. How much emotion, money and effort do people put into their divorces??? If they put that money, effort and passion into their marriages then all the divorce lawyers would go out of business....

Good luck, I hope this helps... But ultimately, it's up to you!!

Paul in NZ

[Motu]

Sold a bike to pay the lawyers fees but that's about it.The wife bought her own wedding ring - but doesn't wear it on her left hand.I'm with Sea Lily on this one,marrige means nothing to me,an engagement - oh,come on!! Perhaps we should have a thread on the new law of commitment thing.

[vifferman]

Ok.. I'll have a go at this one...

And a damned good go it was, Paul! Great story.

It's not the biggest rock ever bought by man but remember that the whole ring thing is a symbol and Vicki knows what it cost me.

Yeah - that's the thing. It's supposed to be a SYMBOL. The same with Karen and I; the ring wasn't expensive, but given that I had no money or assets except my insurance policy, it was the most I could buy, and still means a lot.

24 years later I still wake up next to the most beautiful woman in the world that seems to get sexier and more beautiful every day. Did I get a bargain or what?? It was the best investment I ever made in my life.

You too? I look at my wife in the morning, and she seems to get more beautiful somehow. A strange phenomena...

OK. Having dated myself as old to ancient..

Too late - you already did that when you introduced yourself.

I saw a 1970 Triumph TR6C for sale outside a shop. I told Vicki, after we buy the carpet for the house, I want a bike like that one. ....Buy it she said.

Now that Karen's worked out that Bikes Are Important To Me, she won't let me sell it. However, she's also said this is the last bike I'm 'allowed'. I suspect if I keep giving her rides on it, and reminding her how planklike the seat is, that might change.... Mebbe I should start looking for summat comfy, some sort of LuxoTourer....

Really good post, Paul. I think it's going to be good having you on KB.

[James Deuce]

Really good post, Paul. I think it's going to be good having you on KB.

Until he gets drunk and goes all socialist on you that is.