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Thread: Glasgow Humour - could be an urban myth

  1. #1
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    Glasgow Humour - could be an urban myth

    It could have only happen in Glasgow...

    Bono is at a U2 concert in Glasgow when he asks the audience for some quiet.
    Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.
    Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the Microphone...

    "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."

    A voice from near the front pierces the silence...



    "Well, f***ing stop it then!"
    In space, no one can smell your fart.

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    Hecklers... gotta love them!
    Enter Stadtler and Waldorf...
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

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    I'd be yelling "clap faster, clap faster!"
    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lias View Post
    I'd be yelling "clap faster, clap faster!"
    No matter how fast you clap, they breed faster.
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper View Post
    No matter how fast you clap, they breed faster.
    WTB a biowarfare lab, some crazy scientists, and some ebola samples.
    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lias View Post
    WTB a biowarfare lab, some crazy scientists, and some ebola samples.
    We tried it with 1080
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper View Post
    We tried it with 1080
    Did you know that the SADF had a covert bioweapons program which amongst other things was actively trying to develop a bioweapon which would render all black women infertile? Damn shame they never got it sussed.

    Then again i'm still pissy the SA govt didnt hand over all the nukes to the AWB instead of disarming.
    .

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    A little racist dont you think?

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    Quote Originally Posted by MattRSK View Post
    A little racist dont you think?
    Boo fucken hoo, you ever lived there?
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper View Post
    Boo fucken hoo, you ever lived there?
    No, still people though aren't they

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    Sit where you are now and watch a clock counting in seconds, each time a second goes past try to imagine a face dying. Do it for at least a minute. It starts to sink in after a while...

    "Damn, I wish I was a funeral director" ... *Face Dying* ... "Damn, I wish I was a funeral director" ...

    Just think, 1 goat per funeral ($10 USD), that's a potential 86,400 goats you could be slaughtering and exporting to foreign countries at a premium, EACH DAY! That's $864,000 USD worth of potential income, again, EACH DAY!

    But lets look at it from a morbid point of view; The human body has a number of bio-chemical properties that can be used in the production of certain materials. 86,400 bodies, EACH DAY, would be more than enough to supply a potential source of fuel or for export as a raw material to a flourishing economy such as China's.

    Huge opportunities here people.

    I like Glasgow humour too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lias View Post
    Did you know that the SADF had a covert bioweapons program which amongst other things was actively trying to develop a bioweapon which would render all black women infertile?
    Yea, I knew a guy involved in that too. 1080 was a result of it....
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

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    Quote Originally Posted by SwanTiger View Post
    Sit where you are now and watch a clock counting in seconds, each time a second goes past try to imagine a face dying. Do it for at least a minute. It starts to sink in after a while...

    "Damn, I wish I was a funeral director" ... *Face Dying* ... "Damn, I wish I was a funeral director" ...

    Just think, 1 goat per funeral ($10 USD), that's a potential 86,400 goats you could be slaughtering and exporting to foreign countries at a premium, EACH DAY! That's $864,000 USD worth of potential income, again, EACH DAY!

    But lets look at it from a morbid point of view; The human body has a number of bio-chemical properties that can be used in the production of certain materials. 86,400 bodies, EACH DAY, would be more than enough to supply a potential source of fuel or for export as a raw material to a flourishing economy such as China's.

    Huge opportunities here people.

    I like Glasgow humour too.
    dude...... WHAT THE FUCK!!!
    KiwiBitcher
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  14. #14
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    Crikey!

    God bless New Zealand - where else could a glib Glaswegian comment cause a discussion on biological warfare and ethnic cleansing...not to mention recycling of human bodies as fuel.

    Is this sort of thing likely to happen every time I share a joke?>

    In space, no one can smell your fart.

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    Quote Originally Posted by McJim View Post
    Crikey!

    God bless New Zealand - where else could a glib Glaswegian comment cause a discussion on biological warfare and ethnic cleansing...not to mention recycling of human bodies as fuel.

    Is this sort of thing likely to happen every time I share a joke?>

    It's not that we're prejudice. I personally hate everyone equally.
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