How Men and Women Differ

**miSTa** · 18th October 2006, 21:36

BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Dischem.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS
* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret-fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
* Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

**Meekey_Mouse** · 18th October 2006, 21:39

Haha, that is awsome!! So true

... I think any way.. will be interested too see what other people think

**Crasherfromwayback** · 18th October 2006, 21:50

We men had to forgo the ability to be able to multi task so that we got the ability to be rational.

**SARGE** · 18th October 2006, 22:18

Originally Posted by Crasherfromwayback

We men had to forgo the ability to be able to multi task so that we got the ability to be rational.

we also gave up the multiple orgasm to be able to pee standing up

**Crasherfromwayback** · 18th October 2006, 22:21

Originally Posted by SARGE

we also gave up the multiple orgasm to be able to pee standing up

Hell no mate....we can have multiple orgasms....one a night every night...right before a good snooze!
What machines!

**MyGSXF:Me** · 18th October 2006, 22:30

Originally Posted by SARGE

we also gave up the multiple orgasm to be able to pee standing up

LOL.. WE chicks can do BOTH!!!!

http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Mo...n-72295825.htm

**MyGSXF:Me** · 18th October 2006, 22:34

Originally Posted by Crasherfromwayback

one a night every night...

Is that all???????????????

bugger.....

**Crasherfromwayback** · 18th October 2006, 22:52

Originally Posted by MyGSXF

Is that all???????????????

bugger.....

Shit....I thought that was some sort of record to be proud of!!
Guess I should've lied.....

**MyGSXF:Me** · 18th October 2006, 23:01

Originally Posted by Crasherfromwayback

Guess I should've lied.....

so what's new....??

you're a male!!!

**WRT** · 19th October 2006, 09:00

As good as it gets, talking about women: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

**DingoZ** · 15th February 2008, 17:52

NICKNAMES.
• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT.
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none
will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY.
• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale

BATHROOMS.
• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Ridges.
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS.
• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS.
• Women love cats.
• Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE.
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE.
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP.
• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL.
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING.
• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears
and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.
• Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

• What a woman says: C'mon..This place is a mess. You and I need to clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the
laundry now.
• What a man hears: C'MON .... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah,
NOW!

**JimO** · 15th February 2008, 18:03

its funny cos its true

**Trudes** · 15th February 2008, 18:10

I'm an arsehole and I'm proud.... arh shit that was meant to be, I'm a woman and I'm proud.

I realised yesterday that I've put on a kilo for every year I've been married, best I ditch him then.