Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Do you need a sign?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    9th February 2005 - 13:27
    Bike
    ...
    Location
    Van Morrison
    Posts
    2,699

    Smile Do you need a sign?

    Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...nevermind, didn't see your sign."

    It's like before my wife and I moved. our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?"
    "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

    A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, ya'll catch all them fish?"
    "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

    I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you."
    "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't want to lose it."

    Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

    We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" Se, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

    I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter who hard I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. he went through his basic questioning...okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?"
    I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge...here's your sign."

    I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?"
    I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."



    Anybody you know need a sign? (I think we should send one to Helen)
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  2. #2
    Join Date
    15th January 2005 - 11:00
    Bike
    Zilch
    Location
    Dirty ol' Nappies
    Posts
    1,049
    Quote Originally Posted by placidfemme View Post
    I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter who hard I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. he went through his basic questioning...okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?"
    I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge...here's your sign."
    Yeah, the truck driver needs a sign. Even I know that if you get stuck under a bridge, you let air out of the tyres until you are low enough to drive through. Then proceed with caution to the next service station.

    Bloody Americans! Can't do anything right!

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    1st November 2005 - 08:18
    Bike
    F-117.
    Location
    Banana Republic of NZ
    Posts
    7,048
    That routine is from Jeff Foxworthy, an American comedian and a damn good one at that!
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  4. #4
    Join Date
    9th February 2005 - 13:27
    Bike
    ...
    Location
    Van Morrison
    Posts
    2,699
    Quote Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
    That routine is from Jeff Foxworthy, an American comedian and a damn good one at that!
    Thats interesting to know... might do a search for some other things he's done...

    *got it off myspace lol*
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  5. #5
    Join Date
    1st November 2005 - 08:18
    Bike
    F-117.
    Location
    Banana Republic of NZ
    Posts
    7,048
    Quote Originally Posted by placidfemme View Post
    Thats interesting to know... might do a search for some other things he's done...

    *got it off myspace lol*
    He tickles my sense of humour. When BFM had the "Slightly Silly Show", they had some of his routines to play. Absolutely brilliant stuff!
    Right up there with George Carlin!
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  6. #6
    Join Date
    28th February 2006 - 17:48
    Bike
    dirty ns2fiddyr
    Location
    Dunnydin
    Posts
    1,377
    I swear I heard Dennis Leary do that one once... Funny as hell none the less, I used to say it for years, but of course no one ever understood...
    Signs for all!!
    Boyd hh er Suzuki are my heroes!
    The best deals, all the time!

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •