1 year anniversary

[hXc]

Some of you may remember; this time last year my best friend Meeckal, took his own life. This came as a shock to me and my friends and family. It was an absolutely horrific thing to deal with, for me. I don't want to ever have to go through anything like that again.

Meeckal was a great guy. Maybe not the brightest person, but full of laughs and stupidity. He always made people smile and always had the best of intentions (even if in his head, they were to make people laugh). I can't believe it's already a year; I can remember the day like it was yesterday.

I don't want to say too much, as none of you knew him, and it would be too hard. But RIP buddy, and I still think of you all the time. There wouldn't be one day that I haven't thought about you. You're a cunt for leaving like that, and a part of me hates you for it, but I can't go through life hating you for what you did. You had the best of intentions in doing it -eliminating the problem compltely- even if it was a heartless thing to do.

One day, I'll see you up there, but until that day, RIP and keep watch over us. We all miss you terribly and we will for eternity.

[chanceyy]

Some of you may remember; this time last year my best friend Meeckal, took his own life. This came as a shock to me and my friends and family. It was an absolutely horrific thing to deal with, for me. I don't want to ever have to go through anything like that again.

Meeckal was a great guy. Maybe not the brightest person, but full of laughs and stupidity. He always made people smile and always had the best of intentions (even if in his head, they were to make people laugh). I can't believe it's already a year; I can remember the day like it was yesterday.
.

Feel for you hXc & your family & his ...

some times the happy face has so much sadness behind it ..

Rip Meeckal

["D" FZ1]

I had a good mate do the same thing a few years ago so I know what you have been through. My thoughts are with you mate.

[hXc]

It's something that words don't do justice to, to those who have never experienced it. It's a feeling of complete emptiness, like your heart has been ripped out and trod on, many many times. It's a feeling of absolute confusion. Time stands still and nothing seems to matter anymore.

For me, that period lasted a long time, and to this day, I still get really upset at times. It's something that has matured me a lot, and has given me the chance to learn a lot about myself, and others, but it has left a part of me empty and black. That part, I feel, will never be replaced.

Many tears have fallen while contemplating life and thinking about it, and many tears may still fall when thinking of him. It will definately never leave my mind, no matter where my life leads me and no matter what happens, or who comes along.

Thanks for the comments and support that I have recieved when it's been needed. A special thanks to BuFfY, Scorpygirl and my parents, MSTRS and Yungatart. Those 4 people have been there for me a lot. Although I have never met BuFfY or Scorpygirl, they have rung me when I needed help and have PM'ed me in times of trouble. For complete strangers to do that, it takes guts and I respect them for it. Thank you to anyone else who I haven't mentioned, too.

[chanceyy]

Nods .. the despair, the bleakness, the why, the unanswered questions ..


they never leave but time does heal some of the blackness, & family/friends can assist through that transition. after 20yrs some of those feelings are still there .. so yes a number of ppl can totally relate to what you have been through & feeling ..

big ups to everyone who was there for you

[Scorpygirl]

Hi HxC

Thanks for the awesome comments mate but really it's what I would do for anyone that needs help at anytime. One year - that is always a big one when anyone dies but especially for you, your family and friends at this time. My thoughts and heart go out to you all. Rest assured I am always a listen ear if you need it.

Scorpygirl

[lb99]

for me it is 53 weeks since I had to cut the rope for my best friend,

Like you said, its the most horrifying thing ever, but I must thank my family and friends for helping me though the Blackest Time Ever, and for putting up with me for the past year

My thoughts are with you

[Coyote]

Thanks for the comments and support that I have recieved when it's been needed. A special thanks to BuFfY, Scorpygirl and my parents, MSTRS and Yungatart. Those 4 people have been there for me a lot. Although I have never met BuFfY or Scorpygirl, they have rung me when I needed help and have PM'ed me in times of trouble. For complete strangers to do that, it takes guts and I respect them for it. Thank you to anyone else who I haven't mentioned, too.

Communication on the internet has made it a very hazy line between life online and reality. They're not necessarily strangers. Some people I've got to know through the likes of msn have been better friends than those I've made in reality, and those people I know in reality I've became better friends with online and through texting

RIP Meeckal

[Edbear]

Sympathies mate!

There has been quite some discussion on KB from and about those who've lost friends and family this way. A search of the threads may throw up helpful comments.

Depression is an insidious thing and deadly - hard to recognise and deal with and for those like yourself who no doubt think, "If only he had said something...!", he would have not done so in order to protect you and ensure he was able to do what he wanted. Twisted thinking but the reality of those who contemplate suicide. They are not thinking rationally and reasoning things through.

[beyond]

Feeling for you hXc

It's a real hard fact of life and very hard to deal with.

My close friend and work colleague of 26 years, used a rope a short time ago to end his problems. It solves their own problems in the worst possible way but leaves behind a real void and darkness for those left behind. You are always left wondering what you could have said or done to prevent it happening, but in the end, if they are going to do, nothing will stop them. Of course, even knowing this does not ease the pain.

Chin up mate and appreciate life even more.

[u4ea]

am reeling from some recent news of this myself...tears on the keyboard tonite...............
REST IN PEACE to our departed

[BuFfY]

Aww hunny you know I would do anything for you!

Goodness you made me cry cause I am so touched that you mentioned me. You are an absolutely fantastic guy (I still do not believe that you are only 15!!, but yes I do know your birthday! and I guess it is true)

I really wish it wasn't over the phone or on the internet that we talked. You are such a sweet person and I love ya heaps and I wish I could just give you a hug, but I do try my best to try to make things a little bit better.

You can't just thank me, because you do so much for me and have become such a great friend of mine. Don't stop thinking about Meeckal, he sounds like a completely special guy (and that is why you were so close with him!)

You take care of yourself hunny x x

[Sniper]

You hang in there dude. Not a fun thing I know. I had a friend commit suicide 6 months ago, still hurts and I am still going to kick his arse for doing it when I see him next

[Macktheknife]

In one of the worst years of my life, I had 5 friends commit suicide and 2 more attempt it, I'm sure many others have experienced the pain and loss also hxc, you are not alone, remember that.
I was very angry and depressed that I had been able to do nothing to save the ones who left, even though I would have done almost anything for them, but they did not let me know there was a problem. For them, this was the only way to deal with the problems they faced, I still do not understand that.
I feel for you and for the others who are affected by his passing, I hope that all of you may come to some peace regarding the loss. I love my friends and miss them still, and I try to forgive them for leaving me and for not giving me the chance to help them in their darkest hours. I pray they found the peace they were seeking, and hope to see them again when comes my time to go.
regards
Mack

[Blondini]

Sorry about your mate.One important thing i learnt is that when a loved one dies,there is a part of them that will always be alive in our hearts and things around us always remind us of them even after the passing of time.remember the good times you had together.