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Thread: McCartney v McCartney

  1. #1
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    14th November 2005 - 13:19
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    McCartney v McCartney

    It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife
    are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes
    about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

    News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his
    wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be
    distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said
    in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm
    really stumped"

    "She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she
    will need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk
    out on a relationship like this"

    After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever
    consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if
    we called her Heather.

    It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the
    marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if
    an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to
    stand on.

    Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may
    have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to
    get her leg over".

    Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the
    cause.
    "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at
    night and find her legless"


    Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present
    that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic
    leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

    Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:

    I lay upon a grassy bank
    My hands were all a quiver
    I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river


    These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she
    has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill
    her shoe.

  2. #2
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    29th September 2006 - 18:07
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dilligaf View Post
    It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife
    are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes
    about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic......


    These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she
    has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill
    her shoe.

    You have made my day mate!! I have tears streaming down my face as I write. Sheer brilliance


    "...You're gonna have to face it, your dick needs a rub" Robert Palmer "Addicted to Love"

  3. #3
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    Ohh so sad but so good!!!
    Need something to do when not riding??? Come and learn to dance with us at www.cerocstars.co.nz

  4. #4
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    What has three legs, is vegetarian and lives on a farm?

  5. #5
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    24th September 2005 - 14:57
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    Personally, I think it's prosthetic! -

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris View Post
    What has three legs, is vegetarian and lives on a farm?
    I don't know. What does have three legs, is vegetarian and lives on a farm?

  7. #7
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    She should have been called Eileen.
    Speed doesn't kill people.
    Stupidity kills people.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by chris View Post
    What has three legs, is vegetarian and lives on a farm?
    McCartney and his wife

  9. #9
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    18th February 2005 - 10:16
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    Come on people. This is a really limp attempt at humour ...
    Quite lame infact.
    Grow older but never grow up

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oakie View Post
    Come on people. This is a really limp attempt at humour ...
    Quite lame infact.
    lol...I thought they could stand up on their own
    Experience......something you get just after you needed it

  11. #11
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    25th May 2004 - 23:04
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    I posted half of that AGES ago (even got bling from Hitcher!) but you forgot to mention that Paul thinks he will have a hard job filling Heather's shoe when she leaves...
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

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