Child-safe jokes

[ceebie13]

Oooh.... they are beginning to get near the mark now. OK lets go overboard.

Q. Whats pink and wrinkly and smells of ginger?
A. Fred Astair's willy

Q. What's the definition of "confusion"?
A. 20 blind lesbians in a fish market

Q. Why do Gypsies have crystal balls?
A. So they can see themselves coming.

Then there's the thoughts of Confuscious:
Confuscious he say:
" Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day"
" If man with erection walk sideways through door he obviously going to
Bangkok"

Thank you... and goodnight!

[MisterD]

Where do Policemen live?
999 Letsbe Avenue. (yes, I know, but that's what it was when I was 10 in England)

and I can't believe we haven't even started to mine the rich vein of knock-knock jokes...

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you'll see!

[ceebie13]

doh... started a joke here.Meant to put in new thread .Sorry

[judecatmad]

What do pigs use to make themselves better?

Oinkment!

[Indiana_Jones]

*repost or not, I can't be smeged looking:P*

The teacher asked Billy to look out the window, "See the 7 birds on the power line, Billy? If I shot one off, how many would there be?". Billy replied "None miss, the others would all fly away", "While I don't agree with your answer, I like your thinking"

Later on that day, in the park, Billy bumped into his teacher, where he pointed to three women eating popsicle's on a bench, one was licking her popiscle, one sucking on her's and the last one biting hers.
Billy asked his teacher, "which one is married?"; His teacher thought for a while and then said, "the one sucking her popsicle"

"No, miss; The one with the wedding ring on her finger, But I like your thinking"

-Indy

[MSTRS:Me]

and I can't believe we haven't even started to mine the rich vein of knock-knock jokes...

My favourite...the Irish one
You start....

[hXc]

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh! I know one! Pick me!


Me: "Ask me if I'm an orange tree."
You: "Are you an orange tree?"



Me: "No."

[hXc]

My favourite...the Irish one
You start....

Knock knock

[MSTRS:Me]

Knock knock

Fuck off. We're closed.

[pixc]

Fuck off. We're closed.

bahahahaaaa

[BuFfY]

*repost or not, I can't be smeged looking:P*

The teacher asked Billy to look out the window, "See the 7 birds on the power line, Billy? If I shot one off, how many would there be?". Billy replied "None miss, the others would all fly away", "While I don't agree with your answer, I like your thinking"

Later on that day, in the park, Billy bumped into his teacher, where he pointed to three women eating popsicle's on a bench, one was licking her popiscle, one sucking on her's and the last one biting hers.
Billy asked his teacher, "which one is married?"; His teacher thought for a while and then said, "the one sucking her popsicle"

"No, miss; The one with the wedding ring on her finger, But I like your thinking"

-Indy

Kids wont get that!!!!!!! It is DIRTY

[kevfromcoro]

wots big round an black and f....ks hedgehogs??? .............a firestone raidial

[avgas]

whats big and yellow and doesn't float down the waikato? - a bulldozer

Ah yes, the transit NZ induction manual.
Its like this out of the Downers Tunneling guide (Cromwell 1990) :
What doesn't make a good boat for the lake?
90 ton truck....
good times

[Maha]

A duck walks into a bar and asks....
Duck...''got any bread''?
Bar tender...''No''
Duck..''got any bread''?
Bar tender...''No''!
Duck... ''got any bread''?
Bar tender...''NO''!!!
Duck...''got any bread''?
Bar tender...'' if you ask me one more time, im going nail your beak to the bar''
Duck....''Got any nails''?
Bar tender.... ''no''
Duck....''got any bread''....

[Deviant Esq]

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. A newspaper

Q. Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill?
A. To get to the bottom

Knock knock
- Who's there?
Nicholas
- Nicholas who?
Nicholas girls shouldn't climb trees (yes they should! )