I H A T E auditors!

[Finn]

I was audited a while back. So many questions, unsure of the "correct" answers. For example;

Auditor: "Why does the Company own 3 motorcycles?"
Me: "Actually it should be 4, so thanks for the heads up. They are courier vehicles"
Auditor: "Where are they now?"
Me: "Couriering?"
Auditor: "Isn't a CRF250 an off road dirt bike?"
Me: "Are you into bikes?"
Auditor: "Yes, why do you use a dirt bike as a courier vehicle?"
Me: "Rural deliveries?"
Auditor: "Hmmmmm"
Me: "Next question"
Auditor: "What about the boat"
Me "Next"

[BarBender]

I was audited a while back. So many questions, unsure of the "correct" answers. For example;

Auditor: "Why does the Company own 3 motorcycles?"
Me: "Actually it should be 4, so thanks for the heads up. They are courier vehicles"
Auditor: "Where are they now?"
Me: "Couriering?"
Auditor: "Isn't a CRF250 an off road dirt bike?"
Me: "Are you into bikes?"
Auditor: "Yes, why do you use a dirt bike as a courier vehicle?"
Me: "Rural deliveries?"
Auditor: "Hmmmmm"
Me: "Next question"
Auditor: "What about the boat"
Me "Next"

Dear Mr Finn

Thankyou Mr Finn for our 20 min conversation on business assets on the phone the other day. As you can see all of our staff were involved in analysing our discussion with you and we look forward to doing a complete audit of your business over the next week. (12 hours per day). Note that we have included our charge out rates and a costing of our initial discussion.

20 min phone discussion with Mr Finn
Partners = $450
Senior Mngers = $350
Snr Associate = $250
Graduate - $150

Total
$1200

Fuck you very much.
Dick, Gumboot and Shitface.
"Pay our charge out rates and you can have anything you bloody want"

[Oakie]

Auditors = they recount the beans the bean counters have counted.

...Ummm ... to make sure the bean counters haven't put a few in their own pockets.
Don't get pissed off with auditors. Get pissed off with anyone who has ever ripped of a system or taken shortcuts which leave threats. That's what makes auditors ask those questions ... because some prick has done something dodgy before. Ahhh the stories I could tell.

[MattRSK]

We're still suffering our annual audit (well one of them anyway). I just get sick and tired of being asked the same question again (and again... and again... and again). And the way they seem to think that every job you do should have a checklist, which they seem to think should be signed off by someone every time you breathe...

Argh.

If everything should have a checklist, then why is it that THEY aren't using a checklist, but maintain freeform notes, hmmmmmmmmmmm?

FFS, I'm a Database Administrator (DBA). Like all DBAs, I'm procedurally obsessed. I'm sure if there was a personality profile in place as a requirement for a DBA, it would say "obessive to the point of being anal..." It is how we do the job.

I want to jab red-hot pointed sticks in their eyes, I really do

Whats the point. This is Kiwibiker.

[diggydog]

ok where have you hidden all the money , you did say you hate auditers, so where are you stashing it, i wo'nt tell.

[BarBender]

Whats the point. This is Kiwibiker.

Eh...no...this is the Rant and Rave section of Kiwibiker.

[Mom]

We're still suffering our annual audit (well one of them anyway).

FFS, I'm a Database Administrator (DBA). Like all DBAs, I'm procedurally obsessed. I'm sure if there was a personality profile in place as a requirement for a DBA, it would say "obessive to the point of being anal..." It is how we do the job.

I want to jab red-hot pointed sticks in their eyes, I really do

Breathe in through your nose and a sssssslllllllloooooooooooowwwwwwwwww breath out your mouth.........bum.... there is no smiley for massage of neck.....

Auditors were put on the earth to make lives a misery.........they are just following a formula...........sigh..... and as a DBA ( glad you mentioned anal before me)......I am sure that no teeny weeny little bit of anything would sneak past you......however, they have a job to do........sigh.....

They will be gone Monday??????

[onearmedbandit]

Whats the point. This is Kiwibiker.

Matt, if you have nothing to add to the thread don't post.

[MattRSK]

I wish I was as cool as OAB.

[onearmedbandit]

......................

[Tickler]

Im at Auckland uni now studying accounting and doing an auditing paper. had the exam this morn.
My qualifed opinion:
Auditors are there to be the pain in the ass guys asking the pointless questions, cause where there is a will, there is a way.
Personally i hate auditing, doesnt make me get up in the morning but i have to do it.
True, it seems an annoyance for most people; it probably is. But after big problems as seen in america by companies like enron and worldcom lying in the tune of the hundreds of millions honest people lost out.

Anyway, i dont particulary like auditing but it has to be done.
Plus some friends are doing summer internships this summer and the unoffical job description is: Stocktaking! SUPER!

[BarBender]

But after big problems as seen in america by companies like enron ....

True bro...Arthur Andersons did a great job signing off on that audit.