Definition of cheating?

[placidfemme]

What is everyones definition of cheating?

Physical... emotional... online... real time...

What would you class as cheating?

[kiwifruit]

all of the above

[Motu]

Having a rich Daddy is cheating.

[Jimmy B]

PF

In terms of relationships, Rule of thumb, I reckon its anything that you would not do with "another" in front of your partner. Complicated issue really.

[placidfemme]

PF

In terms of relationships, Rule of thumb, I reckon its anything that you would not do with "another" in front of your partner. Complicated issue really.

thats true...

And yeah I'm asking in regards to a relationship... thats been pretty serious, not just a partner of like... a few weeks... talking years here

[RantyDave]

What is everyones definition of cheating?

Anything you lie (or not tell) about.

Whether the converse is true is a matter of personal choice, I suspect. Edit: If you think you've been cheated on then almost by definition you have.

Dave

[Jimmy B]

Mate, Unfortunately I think most people have been there at some time, some forgive, some dont, its human nature. Really depends on a whole lot of factors including, but not limited to, what is emotionally invested in the relationship, nature of the indescretion, ability to talk through the issues and perhaps most importantly wether both want to move forward and continue their future together. If so, one of the hardest things is it then becomes an issue of trust and this can eat away at one partner to such an exent that they hurt the other, downward spiral.

All I can suggest is that if forgivness is on the agenda then it must be, however difficult, unconditional. Some one very close to me is going through this, unfornunately for them its all over town because one partner was so agreived at the time that they informed every one, this has added an additional dimension to the healing process. They are getting there and they are happy for the most part, thankfully.

[Paul in NZ]

Well.... Some people think flirting is cheating.... Yet flirting is often a daily part of any sales job.

The difference is being open about it with your partner and yes - I will flirt with people in front of Vicki but not seriously and always without any crass crudeness (well maybe if I'm pished). Either way - you are on risky ground...

If you mean fantasizing about others? If we were being honest we all do that - we even fanatise about being other people or at least adopting some of their attributes. Crumbs - it happens here every day - we all think we are Rossi...

When it gets physical.... Unless it's an open relationship (which does not work) Thats cheating....

What you have to decide is are my feelings of hurt and betrayal justified or are these feelings making a trivial flirtation into a relationship ender. Thats a tough one.

Whats tough about having an alternate lifestyle based on sexual preference is sex defines your life to a certain degree and reduces the availiable partners. As a casual observer, this results in some people inside that lifestyle being quite predatory in their practises and rather cavalier regarding other peoples relationships. It's very easy to be flattered enough by some practised attention to do something daft.

You need to sit down and calmly look at things. Put aside your own hurt and try to see what happened and why - then look at your own feelings again. Maybe your hurt was justified?? We can't tell.

Either way PF - good luck mate, sounds like a bit of a storm a brewin...

Paul n Vicki - like KB - here if ya need us but please resist the temptation to press the big reset button just cos you are hurt...

[cowpoos]

in anything that you do....if your partner walkin in on it or appeared in the senario and you were totally comfortable with them being there and totally comfortable that they wouldn't have questions about it or any objectional feelings about it....its fine.... its not about your feelings of guilt or what you feel is okay really....its about their feelings

[Beemer]

all of the above

And anything else that you wouldn't want anyone to know about!

[Fishy]

....its about their feelings

you goin soft in your old age mate?

[placidfemme]

Paul n Vicki - like KB - here if ya need us but please resist the temptation to press the big reset button just cos you are hurt...

thanks for the advice... and don't worry... no-one is worth my life

*ain't going anywhere*

[placidfemme]

in anything that you do....if your partner walkin in on it or appeared in the senario and you were totally comfortable with them being there and totally comfortable that they wouldn't have questions about it or any objectional feelings about it....its fine.... its not about your feelings of guilt or what you feel is okay really....its about their feelings

I'm not the guilty one

[cowpoos]

I'm not the guilty one

well if your not comfortable about something thats happened...and you feel that some form of cheating has happened...then possible it has...all forms of
cheating comes across as emotions...and if you have these emotions and thoughts like you obvioulsy are then theres your answer...

its a funny thing....because if your partener trys to justify there actions or try to make reason of your feelings they don't go away....because no matter
what you are told or shown....they can't deniy you have these feelings of miss trust....which is often a wound that heals....but leaves a scar

[Grahameeboy]

I guess you need to talk first and then decide what to do next. Do you end it or forgive.

No one is perfect so it is really upto you how you feel, not just now but about moving forward with your partner..........you say years so sounds like you should talk first and then decide.