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Thread: Don't get your knickers in a twist

  1. #1
    Join Date
    1st August 2006 - 12:23
    Bike
    Nothing, broke it, no $$ for a new one
    Location
    Wellington - Upper Hutt
    Posts
    496

    Don't get your knickers in a twist

    I did a search and couldn't find this one, so here goes.....

    A young man called Derrick wanted to purchase a gift for his new
    sweetheart's Christmas present. As they had not been dating for very
    long, after careful consideration, he decided that a pair of gloves
    would strike the right note, not too romantic and not too personal.
    Accompanied by his sweetheart's sister he went to Harrods and bought a
    dainty pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties
    for herself at the same time. During the wrapping the shop assistant
    mixed up the two items and the sister got the gloves and the
    sweetheart the panties. Without checking the contents the young man
    sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following
    note:

    Dear Maria,
    I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of
    wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your
    sister I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she
    wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate
    shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair that she had
    been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled at
    all. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them
    even though they were a little tight on her. She also told me that her
    pair rubs her ring which helps keep it clean and shiny, in fact she
    had not needed to wash it since she had begun wearing them. I wish I
    were there to put them on for you for the first time, as no doubt many
    other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again.
    When you take them off remember to blow into them before putting them
    away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think
    how many lips will kiss them during the coming years. I hope that you
    will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love Derrick.

    P.S The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur
    showing.
    Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way

  2. #2
    Join Date
    7th November 2004 - 11:00
    Bike
    Aquired by locals
    Location
    Groote Eylandt
    Posts
    6,606
    Fuck thats absolutely brilliant
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

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