Joke: Major Earthquake Rocks Porirua

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

This joke is not for the supersensitive and I am not racist - (Hell I'm CIA - catholic(ex) irish and alcoholic!!)

MAJOR EARTHQUAKE ROCKS PORIRUA
A major earthquake, measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit in
the early hours of Monday morning in Porirua, Wellington

News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's
35,000 unchipped Dobermans, as victims were seen wandering around
aimlessly muttering "Fookinhell" and "Orsumbro".

The earthquake decimated the town, causing major damage
Several priceless collections of mementos from McDonalds and
the Porirua Station Car Park were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken well before their benefit money arrived.

Radio Porirua reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting happened in Porirua.

One resident, 15 year old mother of three, Tara-Tara
Boum-te-Aiee, said "I was still shaking when I was watching Oprah the next day."

Locals were determined to carry on business as usual. Lootings,
muggings and car crime still took place.

So far the Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 cartons of Lion
Red to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals.

Rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large
quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from
the Warehouse and bone china from the $2 shop.

CAN YOU HELP??????

Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing
for the victims of this disaster.

Clothing is needed most of all - especially:

*Baseball caps
*Hoodies

*Tracksuit tops (his or hers)

*White sport socks

*Nike shoes or white gumboots


Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together,
but your efforts will make a difference. Microwave meals, baked beans,
chippies, ice cream and cans of Mountain Dew or V are ideal. Please do
not give anything that needs peeling.

Remember:

*45 cents buys a Bic Clic Ballpoint for filling in compensation
claims

*$4 buys chips, chicken nuggets and a blue fizzy drink for a
family of 9

*$10 will pay for a packet of Rothmans and a lighter to calm a
child's nerves.

Urgently required: tinned dog food for pit bulls.

Please do not send tents for shelter. The sight of such flash
housing will cause discontent in the nearby Wainuiomata and Titahi Bay communities

[placidfemme]

lol very funny

[Whynot]

looks quite similar to this one .....
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...ad.php?t=35775

[judecatmad]

Oh god, that's funny! When we moved to Wellington from Auckland we started off in Titahi Bay and spent the first 6 months of our Wellington existence wondering what the hell we'd done!!!

Sooooooo do not miss Porirua!

[Colapop]

I lived in Porirua for a number of years - in the suburb of Cannons Creek. Whats really funny is that if a major earthquake did hit then Porirua would probably come out best in the whole of Wellington! It has a particularly stable geological base.

[Crasherfromwayback]

It has a particularly stable geological base.

That's the only thing stable about it though mate....

[Colapop]

It's not only the locals that throw stones!