My guide to becoming...

[hXc]

...A teacher's pet hate. These are a few things I've thought of tonight. Some, I have done, and some I would only dream about doing. Feel free to add your own.

Zac's hot tips for becoming a teacher's pet-hate.

-If you screw up, and need something to blame, blame the Labour Government.

-When queried on an answer, just say "You heard me, punk." It's bound to get you in with him/her.

-Ask off topic questions. For example, in science, talking about centrifugal forces, put your hand up and ask where abouts you put the feather and call it macaroni.

-Pull stunts in class like fake epileptic fits. Science is a good one for this - 'anaphylactic shock' can make teachers do weird things.

-Make race car noises, or pretend you're Valentino Rossi in the lead on the last race of MotoGP. Lean the chair and get your knee down too.

-Take a So-Do-Ku into class, with the answers already on it, taken from the internet (this gains you valuable time), then when the class is silent, stand up and raise the Su-Do-Ku in the air, yelling "Su-Do-Ku!" at the same time.

-Sit in class and lick yourself. Be it your arm, hand or leg or whatever. When asked what one is doing, simply reply with, "Grooming."

-When one has a reliever, if one's name is called out wrong, do not answer. When the reliever finishes the roll, go up to the front and tell them your name wasn't called out. They will ask your name and you reply with "Chad Valiant Junior...The 3rd." Then promptly go back and sit down. When the reliever is not looking, you or someone else marks you present.

-Bring a cactus to school, sit it on your desk for each class, then after a week, put your hand up when the teacher asks a question. When the teacher asks you, just say that cactus has something to say. Look at the cactus like you're waiting for it to reply, when it doesn't, just shrug and carry on. Keep doing this each lesson but getting more and more annoyed. One day, finally storm out of the class with your cactus and sit in the corridor yelling at it, saying things like, "You embaressed me, again!"

-Stand on your chair, strike a pose and yell "Go go gadget flying boots!" When you don't move, just look disappointed and say, "Damn boots will have to go back to the shop. So much for life time gaurantee."

[Meekey_Mouse]

ROFL.. That is funny, but I'd hate to be your teacher

[hXc]

For those interested, 1-5, 7 and 8 have been attempted by me, or have involved me.

[Coyote]

For those interested, 1-5, 7 and 8 have been attempted by me, or have involved me.

Only them? How do we know you're legit? How do we know all these will work?

[hXc]

Some may need others used to create the full effect. MSTRS or yungatart can atest to these happening. The fit thing got me a day in in-school suspension, and the 'subject' 3 days suspension. He said it was worth it though.

[BuFfY]

Come to my class... I'll give ya the learn!

[hXc]

Haha ooh yes please

[yungatart]

ROFL.. That is funny, but I'd hate to be your teacher

Try being his mother- yes, I do have to live with him

[MidnightMike]

Relievers always have been the most fun.

In science we managed to lead the teacher outside then lock the door and close the curtains so she couldnt see us cracking up. She was out there for most of the period. Untill the HOD walked in with that 'youll pay for that look' >)

[MSTRS:Me]

Try being his mother- yes, I do have to live with him

*small voice (through tears of laughter)* 'So do I'

[Mr. Peanut]

Set up a rope swing using the ceiling beams.

Another interesting trick is to poke out about 40 of those little cap gun shells, and carefully roll up the powder in a piece of paper. Get an unsuspecting friend(?) to hit it with their shoe

[Maverick]

One time in chemistry we were bored and my mate kept playing with his lighter, so we snuck it off him and rigged it to light a flame about a foot long, he nearly took his eyebrows off and fell backwards off his chair when he flicked it next.

[hXc]

Relievers always have been the most fun.

Yup, I would agree. Come on guys, keep the great ideas coming.

[speights_bud]

we used to chant names of a certain indian food when we had our 5ft tall reliever, she'd always reply with "Stop saying curry, do i call you mashed po-tatoe?, now go to P5 for a deens detention!"

[KLOWN]

I have been in a maths class when someone let off fireworks, that was quite amusing. Also one english class I was told to get out of the classroom, so I left the room via the window and then came straight back into class cause the teacher told me to get out but not stay out, it was funny becuase he didn't realise I was back in the class room for about ten minutes. Also hit on your teachers daughter/s. (You have to make sure you get to go back to her place so your teacher knows)