KZ's Moulin Rouge in "Spectacular Spectacular"

**kickingzebra** · 1st January 2007, 23:21

Title has bugger all to do with reality, but recreational drugs can do that to you kids...

Fresh from my hay bale acquantince manouvres of 2006 cemetery circuit, and associated respray and reglassing, I arrived at taupo race track just in time to shelter in a portaloo, as the rain came home momma!!

So, with my ego at an all time high (hiding in portaloos really works for me... J/K) I set to unpacking the trailer. This is tedium in excelcius. Never mind, trailer unpacked means bike to ride, which means wheelies to fail at, and people to go slower than, and a few to go faster than.

Pissing around with my bike, and hiding way the heck down the back meant I wasn't too aware of the days going ons, so with 6 whole laps in practice (damn late starters, always takes me ages to gear up) We had our initial race. I had always though Karl Morgan was fast?!?
Point aside, finished (after craptastic launch number 23898.1) at 6th.

Fun had for the day, me an Wifey and the cuteiful Sarah went out on the town for dinner. T Bone steak, at the first place I have been to in NZ (as a native) that attempted something resembling service, approaching walkers past, and accosting them with how good this dinner could be. Very Melbourne. I was impressed.

Back to motel for an early night. And a childs screams... (overtired)

Up early, and to the track for 7:15. Cleve is already there. Team MaD strikes again. My prodigous pit procuring skills having been hard at work, we are still stuck down the back of BFK Nowhere (copyright Poos 2006)

We get over it, and carry on. Wandering the pits every 10 minutes to try and find Stroudy, cause he left his license at Wanganui, and for some bizzarre reason, they trusted me to return it to him. When he eventually turned up, wifey just gave it to him, no attempts at bribery or anything. I was gutted. Could have at least asked him to make it look hard to pass me!!

Race 1, wheee, near highside on far too old tires. Credible top 10. Oh yeah, and I beat Cleve.

Race 2, NOS hit, Near double highside on same worn out shagger rubber donuts. Another credible top 10. Me an Cleve dunno who won? Looking forward (with trepidation) to results being published.
Went and saw brother Love. Bro, my tires are trying to kill me with highsides. What do I do?? Tyre Pressure? 30 front, 33 rear (which seemed to stop the Taupo Tire Munch) He says I am insane, and go back to 30 30, consider a heavier spring.
This I do, as a good follower of the ways of Brother Love, lets face it, if you can utterly shag a front tire, in less than 10 minutes, you got to be doing something right!!

Race 3, no major events, unless you count T boning mr Foot Racing R6 in turn 5 and munting your newly repaired fairings as an event. Got past him a bit after, (niether of us came off) and another somewhere near 10 finish (which means I have no F#BeEp*!!$ idea)

Race 4. I am hungry. Real hungry. For a decent position. Soo Hungry. A crap start, and then I get pissed off, go from 9th to 16th in turn 1. See red. Jump places left right and centre. Flat out through the hairpin. Into the sweeper fastest I have ever been. Rear loses grip. My life flashes before my eyes. I imagine myself impaled upon the seat stands being erected. (huh huh, I said erected...) I see Jason, getting away from me. The tyre re grips and the start of it all happens. Ultra slow motion.
N o o o o o o
U l t r a s l o w m o t i o n
I think, no farking way am I scratching these shiney new leathers, and rebuilding this bike from a hospital bed. I have nationals, I have morals, I have underwear. I aint crashing! So I grit my teeth, still in slow motion, deliberately bash my shin against the peg in the bucking of the bike, hard enough to split the skin and give me a wicked haemotoma through leathers and shin guards. Then I look up, and keep my eyes fixed. I aint going down today lads. That may be my high (for me) spot, but I'm a finisher. I glance at the speedo. 188kph. I am on the grass. On slicks. I can't brake too well in these conditions (drive to the conditions when they change reduce your speed) (but what about when they change for the better??) The wall is coming.

Choose ye this day, the wall at 180, or the scoria? I gracefully arc through the scoria, and miraculously slow enough to get myself back to the side of the track.

My positions gone beyond hope, never the less, I dig back in, and do the old crowd pleaser, passing left right and centre. Didn't make a top 10, but I would have been damn close to the fastest lap of that race making up those last few spots. Man, what a buzz!!

Cracking you fairings, and having the guy whose bike you crashed into laugh about it? $5.27 plus GST. Surviving the most vicous of highsides, and 180 kph on the grass and scoria? Priceless!!!

Cheers to Gav for letting me beat him soo easy, Gary, for light heartedly grumbling about me passing him when he is lining up a pass on someone else, Jason, for being a madman with broken brakes (protest!) LOL
Karl Morgan for giving much needed big head boost, by being only fast enough to go slower than me 4 out of 5, Sudeep, for wheelying my pushie, first try, easy as.... Busstid! LOL Kelly... You the man, Meeky Mouse and bro and co, nice to see yous around, Alex, thanks heaps for the help bro!
All My fans from wanganui, yes, I love you all!!

AND Team MaD!!! Cheers Cleve, till the results come out, I'll be whey ting.

And most importantly, as Mikey so rightly points out, The beautiful Bronwyn, Supporting me, loving me, cleaning up and packing up if I get ambulanced to hospital. I won fellas

**vtec** · 1st January 2007, 23:51

You're a class act man. I'm liking you more and more. How you doin'?

Seriously though, your writeups have me cracking up... because it's all true.

I never got time to look at my speedo once in the whole two days of riding on the track, Taupo's just way to tight and busy, how the hell did you look down when you were flying low over the grass?