Too bad if this is a repost. It made me laugh out loud today.
The Old Kuia
Lawyers should never ask a Maori kuia a question if they aren't prepared for the answer!
In a trial in Kaitaia, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs Wiremu, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr Smith. I've known you since you were a young boy with a hupe nose, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. So yes, I do know you.”
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs Wiremu, do you know the defence attorney?”
She again replied, “Why yes, I do. I've known Mr Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in Tai Tokerau. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, and one of them was with your wife. So yes, I do know him.”
The defence attorney almost died!
The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair!”
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