Wrote this up for the toilets at work today.

[Motu]

So firing the cleaner was a good move then?

Yeah - showed me I was paying her to clean up someone elses mess.The filth comes from the service station staff and their customers,not from my side.They can clean up their own mess.

[Alice]

We used to have a problem with guys missing the urinal and pissing on the floor. someone put a sign up saying "If your dick is too short that you keep missing, please stand closer." Funnily enough it improved for a while.

Thats good,
in my workplace there is one loo for 7 of us, all guys bar me. Will type up similiar sign in a minute, will be worth it just to see the reaction it gets.
I'm laughing already, there will either be nothing said, or a tirade of who quite knows what..... yet. Amusement for the afternoon alongside the serious buisness of work.

[ManDownUnder]

Thats good,
in my workplace there is one loo for 7 of us, all guys bar me. Will type up similiar sign in a minute, will be worth it just to see the reaction it gets.
I'm laughing already, there will either be nothing said, or a tirade of who quite knows what..... yet. Amusement for the afternoon alongside the serious buisness of work.

Just throw a cork in the loo.... guys can't resist aiming at it and it won't flush (unless a really good sticky turd hits it square on and drags it under)

[Hitcher]

Given that this was originally about the toilet habits of geeks, I am surprised one of their number hasn't invented a device that plugs into a USB port and obviates the need for such visits. An iPoo perhaps.

[ceebie13]

Thats what I like about KB...the variety of subject matter has no bounds. Brilliant!

In my loo here at home I have written (and framed) the following ditty
and placed a box of matches on the window sill nearby:

If in here you make a smell
Rest assured it lingers well
So strike a match to clear the air
Then others will not have to bear.

[Swoop]

toilet paper goes in the toilet when you have used it not the floor!

I'm guessing you haven't been to Corfu then?

[NotaGoth]

Dear God YUK!!!!!!

can you add a couple of things and then print out a few more and send to me so I can put them up at the camp ground this summer......

If your kids dont flush the toilet at home...what makes you think they will here

toilet paper goes in the toilet when you have used it not the floor!

I could go on but I am starting to feel a bit ill......

Like where I used to work... I mean come on... Who flushes their panties down the toilet...?????????????

And how the hell do you manage to get shit all over the back of the toilet seat... And on the wall...? Dear god thats the wall!!!!!!! How the heck do you manage that one...!!!!!!!!!

Not to mention people that managed to piss everywhere, but not actually into the toilet.....

Can I print off a few and send them to my old boss..??? Pretty please...???

[Motu]

We had a little note in our toilet when on a septic tank....for ''city'' folk -

If it's yellow
Let it mellow
If it's brown
Flush it down!

[Hitcher]

If in here you make a smell
Rest assured it lingers well
So strike a match to clear the air
Then others will not have to bear.

Mythbusters dealt to this theory. Put the matches away!

[ceebie13]

Mythbusters dealt to this theory. Put the matches away!

How did they do that Hitch? Setting light to their farts?

[sAsLEX]

We had a little note in our toilet when on a septic tank....for ''city'' folk -

If it's yellow
Let it mellow
If it's brown
Flush it down!

That was always a summer thing when the water tank would get low

[Motu]

How did they do that Hitch? Setting light to their farts?

Search YouTube for Banned Mythbusters Episodes.

[RiderInBlack]

Well my "Work Toilet" is often outside behind a tree. It can be a long way to a the nearest toilet when I'm out the wop-wops shoeing some fu*ken horse and I need ta go all of a sudden. Have handwash, but then the fu*ken horses often stand in their own poo when I'm shoeing them, so get their shit all over my hands too (along with stockholm tar, copper sulphate, mud and other crud). Just don't shake a farrier's hands while he is working. I clean my hands between jobs, but get them dirty again fairly quick.

[Trow]

Well my "Work Toilet" is often outside behind a tree. It can be a long way to a the nearest toilet when I'm out the wop-wops shoeing some fu*ken horse and I need ta go all of a sudden. Have handwash, but then the fu*ken horses often stand in their own poo when I'm shoeing them, so get their shit all over my hands too (along with stockholm tar, copper sulphate, mud and other crud). Just don't shake a farrier's hands while he is working. I clean my hands between jobs, but get them dirty again fairly quick.

And that there just puts it into perspective for all us keyboard monkeys sitting in our nice warm cubicles worrying about the letters having germs on them.....

[RiderInBlack]

Hospitals aren't fighting super bugs because of steri-gel. Steri-gel is just an ethanol wash. So called super bugs have been caused by tinkering with the human immune system, not by washing your hands when you take a crap.

MRSA, and the like, are nosocomal diseases ya mainly find in Hospitals that have become resistant to anti-biotics (AB's). If the Anti-biotic doesn't kill the bacteria it gets resistant to that AB and breeds more resistant bacteria.
But it has been hypothesised that excessive cleanliness may be a factor in the increase in asthma cases. Also the body does require some communal bacteria to defend it against infection. UTI's (urinary tract infections) and intestinal upsets are often due to the lost of communal bacteria. It should be stated here that these same communal bacteria can cause major health problems if they get into the wrong parts of the body (eg: E-coli is a good bacteria to have in ya large intestines but is bad news in ya bloodstream).
By the way healthy urine is acidic and acts as an anti-bacterial.