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Thread: Crash tales. What happened and why

  1. #1
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    Crash tales. What happened and why

    It just occured to me that it might be a good idea to tell our tales of woe.
    What happened to us and on hindsight why/what caused it.
    The what caused it bit is really important.
    The idea being NOT to be a brag session or a my crash was worse than yours game.
    More a hey this happened to me and this you can do to avoid it.
    I think it could be really useful for newer riders or as a reminder to us all.
    To see a life newly created.To watch it grow and prosper. Isn't that the greatest gift a human being can be given?

  2. #2
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    But if you mention a real crash in which you died, expect a mod to delete the thread.
    Otherwise, just what we need....
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  3. #3
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    To start the ball rolling.
    I'd been riding on the road the grand time of 4 weeks.
    In the wet I turned from a main road into a side street.
    Halfway round the corner I found myself sitting on my ass on the road.
    On hindsite I did everything wrong.
    I changed down a gear,I braked with the front whilst turning on a white line.
    On a white line meant limited traction . Then turning reduiced it more changing down broke the back end loose and front brakes broke the front loose--
    Newbee mistake for sure Good news was all that was dented was my pride and a slightly bent footpeg -coulda been heaps worse
    To see a life newly created.To watch it grow and prosper. Isn't that the greatest gift a human being can be given?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by MSTRS View Post
    But if you mention a real crash in which you died, expect a mod to delete the thread.
    Otherwise, just what we need....
    actually mate I disagree. --its all about Timing dahlink.
    3 deaths I can think of where enough time has passed so we could disect with no offence to anyone.
    One very recent death I can understand timing means leave it alone for awhile
    To see a life newly created.To watch it grow and prosper. Isn't that the greatest gift a human being can be given?

  5. #5
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    Braking is always a good one.
    I had (a year or two back) a TS125, little 4" drum brakes, a pillion of reasonably generous proportions and a long straight to see how fast the thing would go...you guessed it...90 degree corner at the end of the straight. Bike topped about 115kph and needed about the length of the straight to stop again. Alas, I'd used most of that getting up to speed. Lucky the bike was light, and didn't actually go over the fence at the bottom of the bank.
    This was on the back road from Paraparaumu down towards McKays Crossing.
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  6. #6
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    Here's my most recent one.

    Turning left on my GSX-R750 SRAD from Brigham Creek Road onto SH16 last July about 9pm, it was dark and wet, roads were greasy. I'd been tip-toeing along all evening and was getting frustrated, was only 500m from my destination, and randomly fed the bike a handful as I straightened up onto the main road.

    Bad call; the back end spun up and slid sharply to the right. Next bad call, I chopped the throttle and highsided myself straight onto SH16. Didn't even wind up on the wrong side of the road, just came around sideways and flopped off.

    As is usual with highsides, the piece of me that touched down first shattered. In this case, it was my left thumb.

    The relevant lesson is, when the back end lights up, stay on the throttle. If I'd lowsided I would have walked away unscathed. The only reason I wound up with eight titanium screws in my hand was my own faulty control inputs and the fact that I hadn't been expecting a sliding rear end.

    I spent a while while I had my hand stuck in a cast drumming the "stay on the gas" message into myself, and I've subsequently ridden out a few such slidy moments with no drama at all.

    (Obviously a subsidiary lesson is to be smooth and cautious with throttle inputs in the wet - on the whole, it's better not to go sliding around sideways on the road if you can avoid it.)
    kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
    - mikey

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    Quote Originally Posted by jrandom View Post
    In this case, it was my left thumb.
    Dude, those pics are awesome. So detailed and clear. Titanium owns. And how cool they obliged and took pics for you

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    What happened: I crashed.
    Why: Dunno. Perhaps Satan dunnit.

    And another time -
    What happened: I fell down.
    Why: Dunno. Maybe a local gravitational anomaly.
    ... and that's what I think.

    Or summat.


    Or maybe not...

    Dunno really....


  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Velvet View Post
    Dude, those pics are awesome. So detailed and clear. Titanium owns.
    You should see them in the original hi-res off the camera!

    kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
    - mikey

  10. #10
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    On another note, I've always felt that identifying what the rider did wrong is the key part of crash analysis.

    If I fall off, I won't feel good about riding again until I know how I fucked up. I'll never blame the bike or another road user (unless they drive off the road and hit me while I'm sitting on the bike in my driveway).

    In the end, it's always going to be my control inputs that lead to me sitting on my arse in a ditch with a bent bike and broken bones.

    IMHO, any rider who can't identify what they did wrong after a bin (jerky throttle inputs in the wet, target fixation, overloading the front tyre's available traction while turning under brakes, failing to maintain situational awareness about other road users, etc) is doomed to repeat the same crash.

    kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
    - mikey

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by jrandom View Post
    On another note, I've always felt that identifying what the rider did wrong is the key part of crash analysis.
    +1

    Although I fully believe that Vifferman's bins were caused by Satan.

    Quote Originally Posted by jrandom View Post
    You should see them in the original hi-res off the camera!
    Can you send them?

  12. #12
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    Weapon: Shiny maroon SR250 (borrowed)
    Time and conditions: 9.00pm and raining
    Location: Broadway Palmerston North

    Travelling in the centre lane at about 50kph the vehicle to my front left slowed and pulled to the kerb like they were about to stop. Without indication they then hung a rogue U turn. I braked hard and locked the rear, low siding into the back panel of the car. Had the wind knocked out of me for sure. The lady who was following made sure I was OK then proceeded to tear strips off the young blokes inside. The mighty SR was flooded and wouldn’t start and the battery was iffy. She made the driver push start me. It took quite a while.

    Lessons learnt:

    Manawatu housewives have an extensive and colourful vocabulary.

    Beware the slowing or stationary car (with driver) to your left.

    In the wet, it is impossible to stop a shiny maroon SR250 at 50kph inside 15 feet.

    Low sides hurt and are to be avoided.

  13. #13
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    Err, most recent. (Few days ago)

    Thought it'd be a laugh to tie to bicycles to the back of a car. Hooning aroung at 60k's, my mate started to get speed wobble round a bend and decided to jump off the bike into a patch of grass with out informing me. His bike slid right into me and I flipped over the handle bars and slid down the road on my skull

    Stitches on two sides of my head, lots and lots of road rash (was wearing a singlet and shorts with jandels! ATGATT..) Broken and dislocated wrist and will be going in for an operation on two weeks time to stitch up a torn ligament that stops the bones from popping out of place

    Why it happened: I would like to believe lack of communication, but as the trophy I got says, we were being twats..

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Velvet View Post
    I fully believe that Vifferman's bins were caused by Satan.
    Yes. It's true.
    Let's catalogue them all, in detail:
    Dropped bike on hill: Satan caused it to tilt imperceptibly to the downhill side, overbalancing and falling on top of me. Satan laughed, while I suffered .

    Clipped a Mini with my handlebar: Satan caused me to wear a blue visor at dusk, rendering the Mini nigh on invisible. (Either that, or he momentarily invisibilised the Mini).

    Dropped bike in gravel, while swerving around pedestrians: Satan caused a hole in the road, then the council workers covered it with gravel, then Satan disguised it by getting a family of pillocks (the Pillock Family, of Rotorua) to walk out onto the road, and stand in front of the gravel to camouflage it till the critical moment. A masterful piece of timing.

    Hit a cyclist: Satan caused a sweet young schoolgirl, fostered by a Christian family, to swerve across the road in front of me without looking.

    T-Boned a car: Satan caused the car driver to go through the intersection and not give way. A beautiful piece of work, planned to occur on Christmas Day.

    Bike fell over going around corner: Not a local gravity anomaly as first thought. Upon inspection, it appears Satan got someone to carelessly discard their V can instead of putting it in the trash. He then caused it to spend some time being swished around the road till it was all road-coloured, then a puff of wind (or a local gravity anomaly) caused it to park itself under my front tyre at the exact moment I tipped into the corner.

    Ran over pedestrian: I saw her, and tootled: Satan made her ignore me.
    I swerved around behind her: Satan made her spin her head through 540-degrees, then her body through 180 degrees, then leap into my path.
    I ran her over in order to exorcise the Satanic spawn from her body.

    Yay! My Bike's Repaired: "Haha!" says Satan, and makes a BMW driver change lanes without looking first. Unfortunately, the BMW is surrounded by a local gravity anomaly, so even though it appears to not touch the bike, it falls down anyway.

    Fuck You Satan, I'll Repair it Again!: "And Fuck you too, Vifferdork - I'll send a brain-dead moron to u-turn into you!"

    Aha! I'll replace it with another bike!: "Gravity anomaly. New Brake pads. You know you can't win, Vifferdork!"

    What about this bike? It's blue! And perfect!: "Blue, Schmoo! Why don't you try overtaking on the inside of those cars, Vifferdork?"
    I know, I'll try overtaking on the inside. Uh-oh - that truck's moving forward: no room!
    "There's always the verge. And look - there's a nice little gravel ramp thingo to ride up!"
    I know - I could ride up that nice little gravel ramp thingo, onto the footpath, around the traffic snarl-up, then back onto the road!
    "Or you could fall off on the wet grass!"
    D'oh!

    Gravity Anomaly, Too Many Inputs, Satan Shuts Down My Brain: Bike falls over for no apparent reason.

    "Let's Play 'Distraction', Vifferdork": Cars stopped.
    Cars moving.
    Big black satanic hound on side of the road.
    "Look at the hound, Vifferdork! Just for a second... you know you want to..."
    Cars stopped.
    Bike moving.
    Bike stopped. Pity it wasn't 10cm earlier.
    D'Oh!

    Damn you to hell, Satan!!
    Oh. Too late...
    ... and that's what I think.

    Or summat.


    Or maybe not...

    Dunno really....


  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by MSTRS View Post
    But if you mention a real crash in which you died, expect a mod to delete the thread.
    Otherwise, just what we need....
    I did that, I died lots from one crash. Thankfully the, "she loves, she loves me not" cycle came out in my favour.

    I was invulnerable. Sometimes I wore red underpants on the outside of my leathers. My record from Christchurch to Picton is 2 hours 45 minutes. 120.37 km.hr average. I didn't look at the speedo once and I wouldn't have stopped for any flashing red lights on top of any live rear axle Ford or Holden either. Mind you, you never saw those fellas in the South Island in them days. If you saw one, you knew there wasn't another for at least 300 kms.

    I get to Picton with half an hour to spare and head straight to the queue for the ferry, down a 50 km/hr street, at 50 km/hr which feels like a snail's pace after my "heroic" run to catch the Ferry at all costs. I relaxed and 100 metres from the Ferry gates an old, slightly drunk guy pulls out in front of me with his lights turned off. On an unlit street. I braked so hard I flat spotted the front tyre but still the impact ripped the headstock out of the frame rails, rammed the front wheel into the oil cooler which was pushed into the sump, getting ground up in the crank. I only remember flying over the bonnet and waving to his wife, red undies on the outside of my leathers.

    Then I died.

    The chap who resuscitated me in situ said that when he tried to take my helmet off I stood up, took it off and handed it to him and then collapsed. I'd had no heartbeat when he checked. "Brains".

    He reckoned the old guy had panicked, run me over and then got beached on the wreckage of my bike trying to get away. When he ran me over he folded my head over 180 degrees so it lay along my spine. My airway was obstructed through being hyper extended and folded back on itself.

    Mr Resus got me going by carefully keeping my head and neck stable with my jacket and a few puffs got things working. However I started fitting and turning blue about the time the ambulance turned up.

    Then I died.

    The nurses who manned the Ambo got me going again, stabilising my neck and back and strapping me to the board before intubating and bagging. Got me going again. Apparently I spat the tube out and started talking on the way to hospital but I have no memory. Probably because my lungs had decided to shut down because of the irritation to that part of my central nervous system. I died again, but apparently a position change and frantic bagging did the trick.

    Things got better from there, over 10 years.

    But I don't wear undies on the outside any more.

    Who am I kidding though. YOU there - you with the sportsbike - It's not going to happen to you, is it? Yeah Right.
    If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?



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