True story tonight here in Newcastle!!

[shafty]

GOGAL and I are enjoying few weeks "house sitting" and cat minding for a Mate in Newcastle - works for us, free accommodation in beautiful house, use of the Mercedes etc................but talk about a bit of drama tonight - bloody funny looking back........................warning, swearing follows:



-Sitting in lounge, hear cat fight, GOGAL goes to investigate

-She screams, I race out there, Cat fight is INSIDE. GOGAL shits herself

-The offending cat is built like a pitbull terrior and shoots under lounge suite FUCK. We close "our" small cat in our bedroom upstairs

- Open plan house but open both front doors and get GOGAL to block hallway with big flattened cardboard box, I get broom and rark up cat

- It flies out, belts thru GOGAL's barricade, into laundry (with cat door, point of entry)

- We close Laundry door - great, it'll go out cat door.

- Cat is going BERSERK in laundry, can't get out cat door - prob too fuckin big for it

- Eventually laundry goes quiet, despite me rarking the door, phew, its gone

- I walk in laundry, saying Phew that was fuckin lucky - then pit bull cat BURSTS out of hiding (down side of washin machine) and races back into house thru GOGAL's legs I SHIT MYSELF, GOGAL shits herself again!

- We open laundry door wide and watch from garage (off laundry) thru 1 cm opening in door. Fuckin big BANG against the door we are holding open 1 cm, FUCK, Shafty shits himself again.

- Turns out laundry door blew slammed shut against said door. No sign of wild man eating cat (fuck thats a role reversal), so I go outside to look thru windows and locate cat to rark it up, no sign

- GOGAL volunteers Shafty to enter and search house. Shafty heads immediately for fridge, then searches house, upstairs and down. No sign. GOGAL enters house and spots Man Eating Pitbull cat in kitchen on top of wine rack above kitchen cupboards, FUCK.

- No firearms in house, so GOGAL barricades hall way, we open all doors from kitchen, Shafty puts on long pants, finishes beer in record time (actually the can imploded), takes photo of cat and bravely ventures forward................

- Shafty rarks wild man eating pitbull cat up, throwing small green tomatoes at it. Several direct hits, cat relocates along top of cupboards, Shafty hits kettle, it starts boiling and empty jam jar rolls off bench and smashes on tiles

- Several more direct hits and huge wild man eating pitbull cat falls to kitchen bench then leaps back up FUCK

- Outside to garden for more ammo, GOGAL "mans" barricade with cricket bat, sexism rules

- More direct hits dislodge crazed wild man eating pitbull cat, it tries to leap back up but blood curdling screams from Shafty disorient it and it hits the ground and then hits GOGALs barricade at 170 km/Hr. GOGAL shits AND pisses herself but ..........

- ..........She manages to rark the cat up with cricket bat and hissing (I think it was her) to cause it to 180 degree change in direction to Laundry, thru door and it clears the 6 foot fence in one bound

- Shafty and GOGAL head to fridge and celebrate bravery, victory and calm nerves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So much for a "alcohol free day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[RantyDave]

Fabulous, good work. We used to lock our cats in at night by making the cat door go "in only". I woke up one night to a similar thing - some other cat pounding at the door wanting to be let out. Fortunately it was one of those really expensive looking deeply pampered shandy drinking cats and not a man eater at all so my night's amusement began and ended with just opening the door.

Dave

[Harry33]

Holy hell ...do you have pictures of this beast?

[Mom]

I can relate well to your cat from hell tale. In bed asleep, we get woken to the sound of a major cat fight in our house! Only one problem, our cat is curled up asleep on the bed! WTF??

Get up and do the whole roar like a lion in the dark to scare these ferking cats back out the cat flap in the laundry, one gets out, but the other takes off down to the end bedroom, up on the high window sill, hissing like snake and getting more and more pissed off each time we attempt to shoo it out!

Hubby makes an attempt to pick this snarling beast up, and it went berserk! Long story short, we eventually managed to scare this alley cat back up the hall and out the catflap. Go back to bed and our little cat is still happily dreaming on the end of the bed.

We were renting at the time and I guess the house had seen its share of cats over years, so they all thought it was a free meal ticket.

Great story mate!

[Cajun]

Sounds like you and Judy having some fun and games over there Pete

[Laava]

I can relate well to your cat from hell tale. In bed asleep, we get woken to the sound of a major cat fight in our house! Only one problem, our cat is curled up asleep on the bed! WTF??

Get up and do the whole roar like a lion in the dark to scare these ferking cats back out the cat flap in the laundry, one gets out, but the other takes off down to the end bedroom, up on the high window sill, hissing like snake and getting more and more pissed off each time we attempt to shoo it out!

Hubby makes an attempt to pick this snarling beast up, and it went berserk! Long story short, we eventually managed to scare this alley cat back up the hall and out the catflap. Go back to bed and our little cat is still happily dreaming on the end of the bed.

We were renting at the time and I guess the house had seen its share of cats over years, so they all thought it was a free meal ticket.

Great story mate!

Did you run out of Black Flag?
Good story tho Shafty!

[Mom]

Did you run out of Black Flag?
Good story tho Shafty!

Bet that never even crossed his mind at the time......LOL

[Beemer]

When we bought our house in the country five years ago the owners moved into a cottage across the road while their new house was being built down the road. Their cat (Wally) was used to having the run of the property and we'd often see him wandering around outside during the day. One night one of our cats started growling during the night so I turned on the light to see what the problem was and found Wally standing in our bedroom doorway with a confused look on his face. It was like "who the hell are you and where's my mum and dad?" It was so funny, he'd obviously just wandered in through the cat door.

Another night we had the fire going in the lounge and saw his forlorn face pressed up against the glass door. Even when they moved into their new home, over a kilometre away, we'd still see him down our end of the road at times.

[vifferman]

Yup, cats are stupid alright. A dog is bonded to its 'pack', not the house, whereas a cat is only interested in its meal ticket and thinks that's attached to the house. A guy I worked with made numerous trips back'n'forth to fetch the cat after moving a few kilometres. He had no such problems with the dog though.
Our dog didn't give a stuff where we were (we moved four times in three years) as long as he knew we were around. The only time he decided he was in trouble was when we lived in Christchurch and did an Easter tour of the Sarf Oilund. Despite having two of our friends (who he knew) looking after him, he decided we'd gone for good and tunneled his way out of 'Colditz'.
He also got us in trouble at the mall one day: despite having plenty of fresh air (windows in the car open) and water, he decided maybe we'd abandoned him again, and started whining and carrying on. Some bleeding-heart busybody decided he was suffering and we were paged over the public-address system, and returned to find a posse of do-gooders gathered around the car, deciding whether to bust him out or not.

[Highlander]

Did your mate not leave you a warning about Ferral cats?

[xwhatsit]

bravery, victory and calm nerves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh dear... wiping the tears from my eyes...

Hilarious

[shafty]

Due to popular demand, here is the pic of the man eating pitbull terrior killer cat.

Truth be known, I was hoping the flash might prompt it to relocate!!

GOGAL declined reconstructing her cricket bat stance behind the cardboard barrier, saying she couldn't replicate the look of terror.

At one stage it came toward us, looking like a pitbull when it was cornered (in laundry) and it was on a mission until we slammed the door!!!

[fredie]

you need too be careful with feral pussy

[Conquiztador]

Matey..look at those eyes. It's not a cat, it's a fuckin possum!!

[dickytoo]

Matey..look at those eyes. It's not a cat, it's a fuckin possum!!

they do look alike, don't they? a friend of mine had several shots at a "possum" on a fence post and missed everyone. when we got up close, the farmer's cat took off. we would have been popular!