The couple that spends together stays together? Or Not?

[Jackrat]

The Mrs looks after the money,pays the bills ect.I fix things an move the goat.
We share everything and just reshuffle the budget when either of us get a want of some kind.
We've been married 25yrs so it must work.

[Ghost Lemur]

Well my ex had a its either me or that dambed expensive bike moment. I sure do miss her sometimes

I don't think anyone would doubt you miss her sometimes (are we talking about the bike or the ex??).

[MikeL]

Best thing is to let your wife take care of the finances. It's all terribly dreary anyway, and the hours spent balancing the cheque book could be better spent riding. Women actually enjoy writing out cheques and filing away bills with a little "PAID" stamp neatly in the corner. As well, it gives them the illusion of power. But actual decisions about what to spend the money on are another matter. It would be unfair to burden the female brain (subject as it is to illogical and emotional impulses) with the responsibility for choosing between a new bathroom and a new bike...

[MadDuck]

Thats so funny.
I am glad you lads all know who controls the purse strings. Just dont ask her "how much is in the account hun? Enuff to buy a new shiney thing?" ....LMFAO.
Answer will always be "no...maybe next month" its a reflect response!

[F5 Dave]

Write cheques? Balance the chequebook? Man you are living in the 90s. Just log on & see what you still have & push a button to pay the rates or whatever.

[Hooks]

Sometimes you just never get it right tho' I was married for 14 years and spent most of that time self-employed ..... she worked in the business too and ran the accounts.... when it came time for us to start a family she was in charge and that was fun .... I just did what I was told and enjoyed the ride ... then 4 kids and 14 years later she changed her mind and took her blackbelt in shopping and the rest of our money and fucked off to the UK to live ..... one minute here going to Welly for a weekend with her girlfriends the next ringing from Heathrow to say "you're on your own mate " ....
I never stopped her spending or having what she wanted ... I even gave up bikes for that time ... to be a responsible father & husband .... So I don't think that there is a right way .... and yes I am a cynic but I'm gonna go out fighting, this time no matter what, I am making sure that what I want to do gets some consideration and at least my kids are keen to see me have some fun .... So I'm off chasing WT in that pre '89 class if I can ... got heaps to learn and even more to do but it's something that has to be done .... Now all I have to do is get myself a job that lets me have the school hols off and only needs me to work school hours .....

[VivaVee]

We have had one account since we got married -actually earlier - since we got engaged. Three kids later and a tag game of who gets paid most - or if at all since the kids - and it still seems to work. There is not much left to argue about anyway after the 'mandatory' expenses.

I'm the only one trusted with a credit card so there are few damaging surprises - the last batch of reward points went on a DVD player and a cake mixer which pretty much sums up the state of play in our house.

I can't complain since I got to swap my RG for the VFR. All major purchases are committee decisions and we both have a bit of kitty money. It makes no sense to sweat the small stuff.

[toads]

we have shared finances, I've had 20 years at home with kids, I pay all the bills, our money is in a joint acct and we discuss our finances together, and always are in agreement before spending takes place, he trusts me and I him, in fact I don't think a marriage can operate without trust his wages and the family assistance are paid into the same acct, we have a budget and stick to it. All impulse buys are discussed first, so aren't exactly impulse buys, and we compromise with each other. Has worked pretty well so far. When I go back to work full time, we will do exactly the same, we spend all our spare time together, and enjoy each other's company still !!

[F5 Dave]

Thanks for the ideas guys.

Hooks that sounds dreadful, but I guess people have to try to make a go of it. Running away is a pretty emotionally stunted response if it doesn’t work esp. with kids involved.

Well we are going for a holiday next week, so I guess I might have to do the deed then & ask her . I guess choosing the ring will be her first financial decision of how to spend my money from now. I’m scared.

[Hooks]

Thanks for the ideas guys.

Hooks that sounds dreadful, but I guess people have to try to make a go of it. Running away is a pretty emotionally stunted response if it doesn’t work esp. with kids involved.

Well we are going for a holiday next week, so I guess I might have to do the deed then & ask her . I guess choosing the ring will be her first financial decision of how to spend my money from now. I’m scared.

Hey mate don't let me put ya off .... I enjoyed every minute of it and I still am even though I don't have anyone to argue with but you useless bastards on here I feel sorry for the poor buggers who never give it a go ...
Best of luck and as someone above says don't sweat the small stuff ...

[MikeL]

Write cheques? Balance the chequebook? Man you are living in the 90s. Just log on & see what you still have & push a button to pay the rates or whatever.

Despite appearances I am actually quite up to date in some things. I have been on internet banking and bill-paying for quite some time. I last tried balancing a cheque book some time in the 80s. Gave it up as a hopeless job. As long as there weren't too many "OD"s on the bank statement I didn't care...

And to avoid giving offence I hasten to add that my tongue was firmly in my cheek for most of that post.

Not all.

[jrandom]

Hmmm.

We've always had a fully joint account. When we were both working, we both kept an eye on the state of it via internet banking, etc, and regular (ahem) discussions were held about expenditure.

Now that it's just me with the single income, I take care of managing what goes in and out and gawd 'elp me if the money isn't in the transaction account to pay for the weekly shopping... other than that, Mrs Random doesn't really want to know.

[LB]

We run both a joint a/c and separate ones. We use the joint a/c for the household-type expenses and groceries etc. I generally pay the household bills because I tend to be on the net more than Hamish and we do virtually all our bill-paying etc by the internet.

But basically the money in all three accounts is all "ours" to spend on what we want.

I impulse buy on smallish stuff (new work skirt and a pair of boots from Kirks for round $600 for example) without even thinking of checking first, but we talk about any major expenses before we buy.

Since we're both into bikes there's no problem with anything bike related. ( "Darling, I think I'll die if I don't get a second Ducati right now" ) Also we don't have kids, so our money is our own.

We both have access to all our a/cs via internet banking.

Hamish tends to spend less much money than me, not because he's mean, but he just isn't as into material things as I am. Also, he doesn't wear pantyhose to work (the old "thumb-through-the-brand-new-pair-first-time-on" syndrome is alive and well) and he doesn't wear expensive French perfume. But the system we run works well for us.


F5Dave: good luck with the "question" while you're away - keep us posted!

[Firefight]

The Mrs looks after the money,pays the bills ect.I fix things an move the goat.
We share everything and just reshuffle the budget when either of us get a want of some kind.
We've been married 25yrs so it must work.

Yep , were the sorta the same as you guys Jack,
she handles the dosh, I dig holes, build fences, and walk the dogs, it works,
we got 21 years on the clock, But I still introduce her as my "first Wife"...just in case..


F/F

[scumdog]

Shared bank accounts, shared interests = no problemo.
She buys the wine, I buy the shiney bits that I "need" for the H-D and our hot rod type cars (most modern car is '84 Laser). She figures out how to pay the bills.

We have been married 3 years now but been together for 7 and our "system" seems to work (except when I tell Mrs S.D we can't afford the wine!!) but I guess with younger kids at home it makes it a bit trickier, you both need "play" accounts where a fixed amount goes into that you can spend as you please so you have a bit of freedom to indulge without feeling guilty (or pissed-off if the other turns up with something you thought was unaffordable).

Tough it out and keep track of where the dosh goes and discuss it rather than just rag each other when things get tight.