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Thread: Philosophy of Sex

  1. #1
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    Philosophy of Sex

    -------Original Message-------

    Date: 01/08/07 21:32:10
    To: "
    Subject: Fw: Philosophy of Sex]





    "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
    --Tom Clancy

    "You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
    --Steve Martin

    "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
    --Woody Allen

    "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
    --Rodney Dangerfield

    "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
    --Lynn Lavner

    "Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
    --Matt Barry

    "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
    --George Burns

    "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
    --George Burns

    "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
    --Sharon Stone

    "My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."
    --Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

    "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
    --Jack Nicholson

    " Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
    --Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

    "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.."
    --Robin Williams

    "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
    --Roseanne

    "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
    --Billy Crystal

    "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
    --Robert De Niro

    "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
    --Dustin Hoffman

    "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
    --Jerry Seinfeld

    "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
    --Rod Stewart

    "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
    --Robin Williams
    Actions speak louder than words or good intentions

    He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. - Paul Keating

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bloody Mad Woman (BMW) View Post

    "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
    --Robin Williams
    Ahhh, so thaaat's why we (apparently) can't multi-task??
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  3. #3
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    "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
    --Robin Williams

    Haha, that one has to be the best
    Been, seen and going next year.
    Paeroa, world famous in NZ

  4. #4
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    Blah

    Quote Originally Posted by Bloody Mad Woman (BMW) View Post
    "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
    --Rod Stewart
    heheh!! Oh well done for posting this!! hahah! so true!!
    "Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary - that's what gets you."
    Jeremy Clarkson.

    Kawasaki 200mph Club

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bloody Mad Woman (BMW) View Post
    "You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
    --Steve Martin
    Well Im glad im not the only one whew...

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bloody Mad Woman (BMW) View Post
    "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
    --Rod Stewart
    Ah, is that where it came from? I used to work with a guy called Pete - he was an evil computer contractor, but that's not the point. He was divorced and would react to any signs of a relationship lasting beyond about 12 hours by saying "I don't know what's wrong with you, just find a woman you don't like and buy her a house".

    Almost a shame to find out that Rod Stewart said it first, it suited him so well.

    Dave
    Signature needed. Apply within.

  7. #7
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    hey! mebbe Rod Stewart got it from HIM!!
    ... ...

    Grass wedges its way between the closest blocks of marble and it brings them down. This power of feeble life which can creep in anywhere is greater than that of the mighty behind their cannons....... - Honore de Balzac

  8. #8
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    All very good indeed, some painful, some expensive. Good for a laugh or two.

  9. #9
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    quotes

    "Why do they name hurricanes after women",they are noisy when they come and when they leave all you've got left is your car!!!

    "Marriage the only war you get to sleep with the enemy"on my t shirt
    Hello officer put it on my tab

    Don't steal the government hates competition.

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