The couple that spends together stays together? Or Not?

**F5 Dave** · 29th July 2004, 14:25

I dunno, this modern world, everything is changing. In our father’s days it was simple. A guy married a girl, she had kids & stayed home & raised them on the 4’6 pence that he claimed was all he could spare her.

Contraception has changed all this. Women now have serious jobs & stay at work longer, choosing when to have kids- if at all.

I think this is a good thing, make no mistake. But my question to youse married ones is how do you agree on shared finances. How many of you keep your own money? How does that change if you have kids & she is then left without an income?
How do I stop her spending all my bike money on shoes? & more likely - How does she stop me spending all her shoe money on bikes?

Do you run budgets of play money?

Shared accounts?

**James Deuce** · 29th July 2004, 14:31

Originally Posted by F5 Dave

I dunno, this modern world, everything is changing. In our father’s days it was simple. A guy married a girl, she had kids & stayed home & raised them on the 4’6 pence that he claimed was all he could spare her.

Contraception has changed all this. Women now have serious jobs & stay at work longer, choosing when to have kids- if at all.

I think this is a good thing, make no mistake. But my question to youse married ones is how do you agree on shared finances. How many of you keep your own money? How does that change if you have kids & she is then left without an income?
How do I stop her spending all my bike money on shoes? & more likely - How does she stop me spending all her shoe money on bikes?

Do you run budgets of play money?

Shared accounts?

Everything we earn is shared, but I have a play money budget. If it gets a bit tight I stick to buying lunch from my play kitty.

**merv** · 29th July 2004, 14:35

For damn near 30 years ours has been all in joint accounts no question. She had 14 years off work bringing up the kids and while she did that she looked after all the banking - I just worked and played and spent stuff and she took care of it all. Most money was in her name to minimise tax on interest. Now she's back at work I'm doing all the banking and paying the bills because she's too busy now. Restructured some of our investments now she is earning again but haven't quite got it right yet as her tax return wasn't quite what we were looking for.

No worries works a treat, but no-one will pay me to stay home so only problem is too much to do too little time which is why I'm a bit of a part time biker really as I'm kinda part time at many things at not really dedicated to just on thing like biking.

**Quasievil** · 29th July 2004, 14:41

Well for us I dont care about money at all, she manages it she buys what she wants and I dont give a shit as long as I have my man time with my machine all is well.We basically pay all accounts mortgages bills whatever on one day a month save a bit and blow the rest (within reason) no problems no hassles.
My wife buys more stuff than me but why should I care thats her thing and bikes are mine, all is great, gotta love life huh ?

**riffer** · 29th July 2004, 14:46

Fairly similar to Quasi and Jim.

I get paid last day of the month.

Goes into one account, pay all the bills, buy food and stuff.

Anything left we discuss what to do with. Usually a very short discussion.

**bungbung** · 29th July 2004, 14:50

Is that one of those short 'two-letters-beginning-with-n' discussions?

**F5 Dave** · 29th July 2004, 14:55

Yeah it’s just I’ve been single for so long with a reasonable disposable income (read: floating mortgage -so what if I never pay it off I never have to budget).

Does this mean I have to be considerate? instead of just reaching for the card & saying “They’re shiny!! I’ll have two!”

**750Y** · 29th July 2004, 14:57

I'm the same as Quasi. my mrs does it all. i don't want to know about it. long as the kids are fed & I can support my bike habit i'm happy.

**riffer** · 29th July 2004, 15:00

Originally Posted by bungbung

Is that one of those short 'two-letters-beginning-with-n' discussions?

Hmmm. Not married yourself are you Ola?

**bungbung** · 29th July 2004, 15:13

Not married yourself are you Ola?

How did you guess?

Although I've been living in sin for the last 6.5 years...

**Motu** · 29th July 2004, 15:22

When we first got together my wife was fiercely independent,she had her own tools and her own bike spares - I wasn't allowd to touch anything of hers,definatly not her bike!! Anything we bought for our joint life was payed for by one person,so she payed for the washing machine,it was hers,I paid for the fridge,it was mine - we were having no problems if we broke up! But now she has been looking after kids for 23 yrs,all the money is hers,she can do what she likes with it,I get $15 per week into my eftpos card....what more could a man want?

**greenhorn** · 29th July 2004, 15:25

our monetary policy: whats mine is her's whats her's is her's.
I wear the pants too, she just tells me which ones i can put on.

**vifferman** · 29th July 2004, 15:29

Me and Mrs FFS have always had joint bank accounts, since before we was married. Spending is complicated by the fact that Mrs FFS is very security-conscious, and an accountant, and earns lots more 'n me. (In fact, I don't earn anything, as I have very low productivity and spend all day playing on KiwiBiker in a vain attempt to avoid work. Like right now...)

After many years, She has finally acknowledged that I'm a bike freak, that it's important to me, and that it costs summat. Doesn't stop her bleating about how expensive it is though, but threatening to sell the FahrtSturm does. But finally, after many years, she has decided it might be fun to accompany me on bike rides (like this last Sunday's jaunt to Muriwai), and now has her own BMW helmet and leather bike pants. Now we've just got to source some gloves and a jacket so the rest of her doesn't get cold....