Osama gets no nookie
Q: Why doesn't Osama have sex with his wives?
A: Every time they open their legs, he sees Bush staring back at him.
Air Force One crash lands
Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President's staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man's tractor.
"Sir," the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath.
"Did you see this terrible accident happen?"
"Yep. Sure did." The man muttered unconcernedly.
"Do you realize that is the President of the United States airplane?"
"Yep."
"Were there any survivors?" the agent gasped.
"Nope. They's all kilt straight out." The farmer sighed cutting off his tractor motor. "I done buried them all myself. Took most of the morning."
"The President of the United States is dead?" The agent gulped in disbelief.
"Well," the farmer sighed, obviously wanting to get back to his work. "He kept a-saying he wasn't ... but you know what a liar he is."
Foul Language Joke: Whatcha Doin' Daddy?"
Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his girlfriend some.
Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, "Whatcha doin' daddy?"
Johnny's dad stoops over to cover-up his dick and starts looking at the floor. "Oh I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says.
Little Johnny says, "Whatcha gonna do, fuck it?"
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