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Thread: Are you a real bloke?

  1. #1
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    18th October 2005 - 20:19
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    Are you a real bloke?

    The MAN test

    1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
    a) lovemaking
    b) screwing
    c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

    2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
    a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
    b) your blood-test results
    c) five tequila slammers

    3. You time your orgasm so that:
    a) your partner climaxes first
    b) you both climax simultaneously
    c) you don't miss SportsCenter

    4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
    a) healthy, creative love-play
    b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
    c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

    5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
    a) the best part of the experience
    b) the second best part of the experience
    c) $100.00 extra

    6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
    a) no concern of yours
    b) not a problem
    c) a conservative estimate

    7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
    a) a myth
    b) a oxymoron
    c) gay

    8. Foreplay is to sex as:
    a) appetizer is to entree
    b) primer is to paint
    c) a line is to an amusement park ride

    9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
    a) "I hope we can still be friends."
    b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
    c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU"


    10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
    a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
    b) is uptight and a waste of time
    c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place



    If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

    If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused.

    If you answered "C" more than 7 times... YOU DA MAN!

  2. #2
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    20th October 2005 - 17:09
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    I passed the test years ago.........not the posted one i might add.....
    Dont need to tick tick tick, add add add to know where i fit the scheme of things.....

  3. #3
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    30th January 2006 - 20:58
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    Yea im da man
    Thank god

  4. #4
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    24th July 2006 - 11:53
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    Male Sensitivity Test

    Male Sensitivity Test:

    1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as

    A. lovemaking.

    B. screwing.

    C. driving the pigskin boat into Tuna Town.



    2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared

    A. your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.

    B. your blood-test results.

    C. five tequila slammers.



    3. You time your orgasm so that

    A. your partner climaxes first.

    B. you climax simultaneously

    C. you don't miss ESPN SportsCenter.



    4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is

    A. healthy, creative love-play.

    B. not the sort of thing your wife would agree to.

    C. not the sort of thing your wife needs to ever findout about.



    5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is

    A. the best part of the experience.

    B. the second best part of the experience.

    C. $100 extra.



    6. Your lady says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is

    A. of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.

    B. not a problem, she can join your gym.

    C. a conservative estimate.



    7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is

    A. a myth.

    B. an oxymoron.

    C. a plain moron.



    8. Foreplay is to sex as

    A. appetizer is to an entree.

    B. primer is to paint.

    C. long lines are to amusement parks.



    9. Which of the following would you most likely say at the end of a relationship?

    A. "I hope we can still be friends."

    B. "I'm not in right now; leave a message at the beep."

    C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population: YOU!"



    10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate

    A. probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.

    B. is uptight and a waste of time.

    C. shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
    Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon

  5. #5
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    25th October 2002 - 17:30
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    Brilliant, loved it!

  6. #6
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    Suggestions on scoring are invited...
    Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon

  7. #7
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    Usually humour from you joke spammers on KB score 1/10, but this one is actually a good one: 6/10
    "If life gives you a shit sandwich..." someone please complete this expression

  8. #8
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    Chuckle inducing, 6/10.

  9. #9
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    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  10. #10
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    20th October 2005 - 17:09
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ocean1 View Post
    Male Sensitivity Test:

    4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is
    C. $100 extra.

    Worth charging for...but rather cheap i thought.....

  11. #11
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    9th May 2007 - 11:14
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    So what if its a repost. I hadn't seen this piece of brilliance before and it looks like others havn't either. At least an 8/10 from me.
    "I came into this game for the action, the excitement... go anywhere, travel light,... get in, get out,... wherever there's trouble, a man alone... Now they got the whole country sectioned off; you can't make a move without a form."

    Paved roads are just another example of wasted tax payer dollars.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by deanohit View Post
    So what if its a repost. I hadn't seen this piece of brilliance before and it looks like others havn't either. At least an 8/10 form me.
    You don't get it do you?
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  13. #13
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    20th October 2005 - 17:09
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper View Post
    You don't get it do you?

    Hes an angry man that deanohit....or maybe too sensitve ...

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper View Post
    You don't get it do you?
    Sorry mate,it's just that when I see something funny like this a month or two down the line,I still get a kick out of it.
    "I came into this game for the action, the excitement... go anywhere, travel light,... get in, get out,... wherever there's trouble, a man alone... Now they got the whole country sectioned off; you can't make a move without a form."

    Paved roads are just another example of wasted tax payer dollars.

  15. #15
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    The QRF are calmed.
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

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