Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 33

Thread: Gals who go topless live longer

  1. #1
    Join Date
    21st August 2004 - 12:00
    Bike
    2017 Suzuki Dl1000
    Location
    Picton
    Posts
    5,177

    Gals who go topless live longer

    I don't know why, but for some reason any research that shows our traditional taboos are wrong gets censored. The following study is just one case in point. I found it in the Weekly world news. http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/science/61498

    Incredible New Study Proves...
    GALS WHO GO TOPLESS LIVE LONGER

    By Mark Miller

    AN EXCITING breakthrough in aging has just been discovered -- women who go topless live longer!

    "According to our research, women can add 10, 20, up to 30 years to their lives, depending on how frequently and for what duration of time they uncover their breasts," states Dr. Andrew Mansfield, director of BRIA -- the Breast Research Institute of America. "And the more they display them out in public, the longer they live."

    Dr. Mansfield's groundbreaking study, "Aging Dynamics of the Semi-Nude Contemporary Female," appears in the current issue of North American Journal of Clothing-Optional Metrics.

    "The results are frankly astounding," says Eleanor Zeitzer, founder of the International Institute of Aging Studies. "And as a result, we've amended our company's dress code to allow female employees to work topless. Almost all of them have taken advantage of this new freedom, and as an additional positive result, absenteeism of male employees is down to zero." High-school student Peter Strokemeir, 17, looks forward to the survey's results motivating more women to go topless. "I spend an average of two hours a day looking through my binoculars and telescope trying to catch women undressing in their apartment windows.

    "If more of them would start walking around with their gajoombas on display, I wouldn't have to spend all that time on research."

    Obviously in agreement with the study's findings is 109-year-old Jennie McDibble, a lifelong nudist. "I've never covered up my ta-tas," admits McDibble. "That would be like keeping 'em in prison. America's the land of the free -- so why shouldn't my fun bags be free, too!?"

    As to why the female life span becomes extended as a result of a woman's going topless, Dr. Mansfield has a theory: "The positive attention topless women get from men is psychologically such a lift that it affects various physical systems within the body positively as well -- not to mention that going topless often leads to sex, which we all know is life-enhancing in many ways."

    The survey also revealed advantages to going topless even beyond the benefits of longevity. According to 24-year-old Amy Rantelle, "Since I've started going topless in public more frequently, I've gotten tons of job offers, a great new boyfriend, free restaurant meals, invitations to appear in magazines and on TV -- for great pay, and I've gotten out of five speeding tickets! Plus, it's just plain fun watching people's reactions when they notice my melons on display!" Dr. Mansfield's next study will chart the longevity factors of men who go bottomless. "My wife offered to help with that survey."
    Time to ride

  2. #2
    Join Date
    18th October 2005 - 17:11
    Bike
    Diamondback.
    Location
    Nelson
    Posts
    727
    Science is a hands on discipline, and this is a very hands on topic.
    These sorts of breakthroughs are what science is all about.
    Homer you shot the zombie Flanders !
    He was a Zombie?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    3rd January 2005 - 16:16
    Bike
    18 Street Triple RS, 18 Aprilia Tuono RR
    Location
    Kawerau, NZ
    Posts
    799
    Trouble is....after riding topless for most of their lives they can no longer do it later in life, especially on sport bikes.....burn their nipples on exhaust....picture it!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    3rd January 2005 - 16:16
    Bike
    18 Street Triple RS, 18 Aprilia Tuono RR
    Location
    Kawerau, NZ
    Posts
    799
    When I pillion my wife I tie hers around my waste, stops her falling off...Krusti runs for cover, knives start flying....I love yoy sweety!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    18th February 2005 - 10:16
    Bike
    CT110 Super Cub - postie bike
    Location
    Christchurch
    Posts
    3,123
    Ahh ya gotta love April Fools Day don't ya?!
    Grow older but never grow up

  6. #6
    Join Date
    7th November 2004 - 11:00
    Bike
    Aquired by locals
    Location
    Groote Eylandt
    Posts
    6,606
    May be april fools, but I want pics
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  7. #7
    Join Date
    18th February 2005 - 10:16
    Bike
    CT110 Super Cub - postie bike
    Location
    Christchurch
    Posts
    3,123
    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper
    May be april fools, but I want pics
    Be careful what you ask for. You might get the 109 year old.
    Grow older but never grow up

  8. #8
    Join Date
    7th November 2004 - 11:00
    Bike
    Aquired by locals
    Location
    Groote Eylandt
    Posts
    6,606
    Errrr, that is true
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  9. #9
    Join Date
    13th December 2005 - 08:04
    Bike
    2004 GT i-Drive 3.0
    Location
    Pokeno
    Posts
    2,069

    Because I want you to live longer...

    I must say, this really does work....
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image001.JPG 
Views:	73 
Size:	115.7 KB 
ID:	29665   Click image for larger version. 

Name:	mp1716.JPG 
Views:	114 
Size:	244.7 KB 
ID:	29666  

  10. #10
    Join Date
    5th August 2005 - 13:36
    Bike
    '69 Lambretta & SR400
    Location
    By the other harbour.
    Posts
    707
    Now, where's that research that says going topless makes women live longer? Seems to be a win-win situation this.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Lobster View Post
    Only a homo puts an engine back together WITHOUT making it go faster.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    13th December 2005 - 08:04
    Bike
    2004 GT i-Drive 3.0
    Location
    Pokeno
    Posts
    2,069
    Yep certainly does!. Now get out there and start looking

  12. #12
    Join Date
    13th January 2005 - 11:00
    Bike
    fire breathin ginja ninja
    Location
    Taka, Aucka
    Posts
    6,419

  13. #13
    Join Date
    5th August 2005 - 13:36
    Bike
    '69 Lambretta & SR400
    Location
    By the other harbour.
    Posts
    707
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Lobster View Post
    Only a homo puts an engine back together WITHOUT making it go faster.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    13th December 2005 - 08:04
    Bike
    2004 GT i-Drive 3.0
    Location
    Pokeno
    Posts
    2,069
    Quote Originally Posted by bugjuice
    damn, i'm gonna be real old..
    It must work cause you don't look 65 eh Buggy, still got another 50 or 60 years left in ya mate.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    7th November 2004 - 11:00
    Bike
    Aquired by locals
    Location
    Groote Eylandt
    Posts
    6,606
    Does copping a feel help too?
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •